You said at dinner, "I'm curious what your favorite moment with me was." And I said- No favorite moment. You are my favorite moment. If that makes sense? I mean, everything you are is just this huge beaming circle of light in my mind, and I can't parse that or define its contours; it's just this boundless warmth beyond any sort of linguistic reason. I can name good moments. But those would be so arbitrary. They would just be what came to me first when I thought of you. So right now the first memory that surfaces is the last time we had dinner together, and your soft face, and then because I just said 'soft face' I'm remembering this beautiful moment in a cab with you when we're coming back from some party and our faces were locked into one prolonged kiss the whole time. The night of my birthday, back when we first started dating, comes to my mind too (because my birthday is close). Sexually, I liked the moment on the dock in Italy. Spiritually, I like the moments when I'm sick and I need you so bad, and I hold you with all of dear life like you're medicine and how that actually makes me feel better. Biologically, I like the moments of smelling you and you smell, maybe, bad. But I like the smell - because I love you and everything about you is good to me, so I continue to sniff you. And I like that the fact that I'm probably one of the only few people that thoroughly enjoys that smell. You know love is infinite and impossible to detail, that's my answer. I imagine if I see you 50 years from now, without seeing you for 50 years, at first you would be foriegn, and it would be hard to invoke the way I feel about you right now... But after one glass of wine, a few hours of conversation, all these feelings would start to rush back like a deja vu that can't be shook off. It's time lost, and memory never serves properly, but I'm pretty sure I fell in love with you after spending only five hours with you. And I'm pretty sure I can't ever not love you.
Thursday, January 24, 2013
Thought Catalog never ceases to amaze me. I love everything about what they write. Especially this one. Enjoy :)
Wednesday, January 23, 2013
I'm not one for new years resolutions, but I am one for goals and dreams. I understand this post is a little late but I don't think it's ever to late to make positive changes in your life. I'm a dreamer and I think that's all you really need. So, this year I'm going to love bolder. I'm going to love in all my relationships more. I'm going to laugh. Because for one reason, this is my last semester as a student, and I'm going to bask in the joy of my law-school loves, and I'm going to laugh. I'm going to be brave. I'm going to be making some life altering decisions in the next couple months and in doing so I'm going to hold tight to the people I love and to those who support me and I'm going to be brave. 2013 is already a great year and I can't wait to see all the things it has in store for me. So, here we go. I've got my law school graduation, the bar, two of my best friends weddings and oh, so much more. I can't wait. I hope you all enjoy the adventure with me.
Monday, January 21, 2013
A simple but wonderful reminder from Britt.
However, every time you choose to love someone despite the bullshit, you are making it stronger, you are painting a fuller picture. By choosing to love, you are accepting the flaws and the ugliness that comes along with something beautiful. You are understanding just how life works. (Thought Catalog, absolutely genius)
The night before I left Arizona to head back to Nebraska and law school, my bests, Whitney and Coti came over to watch the Bachelor. Whitney, per usual, gave me the sweetest card, full of encouraging words and prayers. And, her mom gave me a wonderful daily devotional called "Jesus Calling." I try to be good on reading my Bible, but I have to admit that in the midst of everything, I don't read it as often as I'd like too. So, I'm super excited to have this devotional that keeps me in the Word daily. On January 15, the day I left I was reading my daily devotional and it was just what I needed to hear.
My Face is shining upon you, beaming out Peace that transcends understanding. You are surrounded by a sea of problems, but you are face to Face with Me, your Peace. As long as you focus on Me, you are safe. If you gave too long at the myriad problems around you, you will sink under the weight of your burdens. When you start to sink, simply call out "Help me Jesus" and I will lift you up. The closer you live to Me, the safer you are. Circumstances around you are undulating, and there are treacherous-looking waves in the distance. Fix your eyes on Me, the One who never changes. By the time those waves reach you, they will have shrunk to proportions of My design. I am always beside you, helping you face today's waves. The future's a phantom, seeking to spook you. Laugh at the future! Stay close to Me.This winter break seemed to revolve around where I'm going to live post-graduation, what job I'm going to have and all the stress that comes with those decisions. After reading this, it put me at ease. God knows all the answers to my questions and I have to find peace in that. Because even when I don't have a clue where my life will lead me, He does and that gives me all the Peace I need.
"Jesus Calling" by Sarah Young (highly recommended!)
My adorable card from Whit.
"The Three Amigos"
"No matter what your passion is, don't let the negative outweigh your drive and determination to make it happen. In the words of Chad Reed, "dream big and go after what you want in life."
Some of my favorite pictures from break.
New Years Eve!