FEARLESS || My word of 2019.

January 8, 2019

Happy 2019 fam. Can you believe we're already 8 days in to the new year? I cannot. I've been prepping this post forever and all of a sudden its 8 days in and still not posted.

I started changing up my new year resolutions years ago. They switched from resolutions to goals to intentions to words. You can read all my past goals and words here:

2008 || 2009 || 2010 || 2011 || 2012 || 2013 || 2014 || 2015 || 2016 (I had two) || 2017 || 2018

This year I thought really hard about what I wanted my word to be and I was forcing ideas of what I thought it should be. When I was first thinking about it, I thought about the word intentional. And while I love that word and what it means to me, it didn't seem right. So I kind of gave up on figuring out my word because I knew it would come to me. I literally woke up the other night and had it. My word for this year?

Fearless


I love this word. I love the meaning of it, especially for my life, right now.
Mirriam Webster defines fearless as "free from fear" or "brave"  
Taylor Swift defines fearless as,"To me, ‘fearless’ is not the absence of fear. It’s not being completely unafraid. To me, fearless is having fears. Fearless is having doubts. Lots of them. To me, fearless is living in spite of those things that scare you to death. Fearless is falling madly in love again, even though you’ve been hurt before. […] No matter what love throws at you, you have to believe in it. You have to believe in love stories and Prince Charmings and happily ever after. That’s why I write these songs. Because I think love is fearless.
This year is bringing a ton of huge changes for me. I am not good at change. It scares me. But what I've noticed in my past is when I embrace the change, the best things happen. When I went to law school. I was terrified. But I got a JD and a husband :) When I moved to Malibu for school, I made the best friends. I can't imagine the joy I would have missed out on had I not taken those chances.

My comfort zone is great. I find joy in my comfort zone, because the fear of the unknown is hard for me. I don't want to be afraid to take chances or make mistakes or jump into something new. I want to embrace possibility and opportunities instead of sitting back and wondering what if.

This is my first full year being a mama. While I've never felt a more natural calling in my life, this whole thing is scary. Am I doing this right? Am I good enough? Should I send her to daycare? I'm fearful! I'm nervous of the unknown. But this year I'm chasing motherhood fearlessly.

My career is still relatively new with some new additions and potential changes. I'm afraid because it's unknown. I've always been nervous of the unknown. But ya know what, I'm running into those fears dead on because my success depends on it.

I'm starting a brand new, HUGE endeavor with one of my best friends and I'm scared as hell. Will people like it? Will it be a success? Are we just wasting our time. But its something I've been wanting to do for years and I'm finally freaking doing it! I'm proud and I'm scared and I'm excited. I'm not going to let the fear of failure hinder me anymore.

There are a lot of unknowns this year is going to bring and it's scary. But I'm not going to let the fear of change and unknowns bring me down. I'm going to be fearless. I'm going to tackle those fears and do it. I'm going to be fearless.

Psalm 34:4: I sought the Lord and He answered me; He delivered me from all my fears. 

Happy 2019, everyone. Let's do this.

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I love hearing from all of you and greatly appreciate all your feedback and comments! xx Kristen