Day 2 Schedule: 

6:30 am: Wake up call.
7:30 am: Leave dorm with L&S, walk to Starbucks (of course) and make the trek to class.
8:00 am: Arrive in our Skills class
8:04 am: A kid in our class passes out for about 2 minutes and just before we connect with 9-1-1, he awakens....weird? Yes.
10:15 am: I'm starting to fade.
12:08 pm: Lunch time! Walk (in the rain) to Warren Towers where we try and find nourishment.
1:00 pm: Walk to Starbucks with L&S, Olivia and Joanna. Thank Jesus.
1:30 pm-3 pm: 'Cohort' group going over "assumptions." Barf.
3:00 pm: Workshop with John, going over 'assumptions,' again.
4:00 pm: Workshop with Deb. O. going over Logic games.
5:15 pm: Finally leave the Law School in the FREEZING cold and rain. Awesome.
5:20 pm: Receive email from Jeff - NEW SUITEMATE
5:40 pm: Arrive at dorm.
5:50 pm: Dinner. Sandwich. Yum.
6:30 pm: Study hours.
8:15 pm: Enter the gym for some 'relaxation.'
9:25 pm: Leave gym in high spirits. 
9:45 pm: Start on homework, transcribing notes, getting ready for tomorrow.
11:40 pm: Take shower & blog.
12:10 am: Go to sleep.

Plans for tomorrow? Repeat. Plans for the next six weeks? Repeat.

This is my now, and I am breathing in the moment.

Today, I had my first day of my LSAT class. I took an LSAT, did surprisingly better than I thought and started everything. I feel like I'm starting college again, with all the emotions that came the first time around. Nervous to leave home because of the anticipation of the first day. Who would my roommates be? Would we get along? Would my professors like me? Would I like Boston? And, after all the nerves, blogs, and bbm's I'm here. Sarah & Lacy, yes, so far so good, YES. So far this experience had been everything I hoped it would be when I signed up in March. It's going to be the most challenging experience I think I've ever had thus far in my twenty-two years, but it's also going to be the most rewarding. This time in my [our] lives is the coolest time because we have a chance to really figure out what we're supposed to be doing, who we're supposed to be and in all that discovery, we're allowed to fail. We're allowed to fall, scrape the shit out of our knee and pick ourselves back up and keep going.

Congrats Roger.

"We spend our whole lives worrying about the future, planning for the future, trying to predict the future, as if figuring it out will cushion the blow. But the future is always changing. The future is the home of our deepest fears and wildest hopes. But one thing is certain when it finally reveals itself. The future is never the way we imagined it."

"At some point, you have to make a decision. that are way too dangerous to cross."

Stop worrying.

"Would you tell me, please, which way I ought to go from here?"

"That depends a good deal on where you want to get to," said the Cat.

"I don't much care where-" said Alice.

"Then it doesn't matter which way you go,"said the Cat

"-so long as I get somewhere," Alice added as an explanation.

"Oh, you're sure to do that," said the Cat,
"if only you walk long enough."

I'm freaking out. I'm leaving for Boston in the morning for six weeks. For those close, they know that being home has been a bit of a struggle for me. Not the physical part of being home, or even the living with my parents part, I love that part. But the fact that my life went from going-going-going at a hundred miles-per-hour to two miles-per-hour in a span of 24 hours. One day I was in Malibu, the next I was driving across the desert to Arizona.

So, because of that slow-down anxiety, most would think I'm thrilled to fly across the country to enjoy Boston for six weeks, but... While I'm completely excited, I'm more nervous than ever. Basically the next six weeks determines my entire future, but I can't think about it that way, it's just hard. I feel like I have this enormous pressure I have to live up too and if I fail, I feel like I'm going to let a lot of people down. I have all these dreams, goals and aspirations and while they are entirely mine, its hard for me to say that some of those goals aren't there to please others as well. I want to make my family proud, I want to make my friends proud, I want to make my boyfriend proud. I want to show those who said I couldn't do it, wrong. I want to prove to my mass com professor that deciding I wanted to be a lawyer wasn't out of haste, but that I can actually do it. I want Dr. Benton to be proud, I want to make myself proud. I think that's what it really comes down to, me. If I were doing this to please those around me, I would have quit already. I would have moved onto something easier and much more accessible. But I'm going to do this for me. I'm going to prove to myself (and everyone else) that I am stronger than I give myself credit for. That regardless of what I doubt about myself, that I am smart enough. It just takes a little faith I guess. Faith in myself, in my abilities, and in what I know I can do. So, like I said in my post on March 16th, this is the big time baby. Here we go.

FEARLESS is not the absence of fear. It’s not being completely unafraid. To me, FEARLESS is having fears. FEARLESS is having doubts. Lots of them. To me, FEARLESS is living in spite of those things that scare you to death.

Boston scares me. I'm afraid of failing. But I'm not going to. That's the spirit. If you're not here to root for me, don't bother, I don't care. I'm going to do this regardless.