Let's talk relationships!

June 19, 2020

About a month ago on Instagram I asked you guys what you wanted to see from me on this space. And boy did you guys show up. I love hearing what you're looking for from me! It's exciting and encouraging that I'm helping create a space that can help you!

I got a LOT of questions about relationships - requests for advice, specific questions, tips, etc. I did what I always do, I asked questions too. I reached back out to YOU and asked for your relationship tips!

I hope this post encourages you - answers your questions - and gives you some great ideas and tips on how to strengthen your marriage or your relationship.


MY ADVICE ||  I had a few followers ask for actual advice - guys let me preface this by saying I am not a relationship guru. I wouldn't even consider myself someone that many people go to for advice! But, I know what has worked for Adam and I and we're going on 10 years together and 5 years married! Whoo! So I definitely have things that have worked for us.

Here's some of my top pieces of advice. You'll see a lot of it has to do with intentionality and being thoughtful in our words and deeds to each other.

My love language is words of affirmation. Adam and I took this quiz (it takes like 5 minutes and you can take it here). But I think it helped because Adam knows that love languages like acts of service, while they are nice, don't fill me up like words do. Is it any shock that as a blogger, I love words?

Here's the definition of Words of Affirmation from Dr. Gary Chapman, the expert himself:
Actions don't always speak louder than words. If this is your love language, unsolicited compliments mean the world to you. Hearing the words, "I love you," are important – hearing the reasons behind that love sends your spirits skyward. Insults can leave you shattered and are not easily forgotten. Kind, encouraging, and positive words are truly life-giving. 
Be intimate, both physically and mentally. You heard that, intimacy doesn't always mean sexually. I mean intimate in a way that is different than just your routine. Plan a date night with no phones, no TV and actually talk to either other. Ask each other questions "How are you really doing?" "What could I do to make our relationship better?" Talk about your first date! Talk about the first time you said I love you! Sometimes it's easy to get in a groove with your spouse. We wake up, do the same shit, go to work, come home, eat and go to bed. it's easy to get lost in the mundane.

Be physically intimate. Sex is how we connect to our partners. That is why it is so special! Kiss, have sex, repeat. And enjoy it! I think a lot of the time, we're conditioned to believe that sex has to be a certain way. But guys, news flash, it's fun! Enjoy it. It will strengthen a bond that you ONLY have with your husband/partner/spouse. Don't negate the power of it.

Talk to each other, and really talk. Look each other in the eyes and talk to each other. The other day I told Adam it feels like we're just surviving some days and it's 8pm and I haven't even looked at him! You know how it goes, we get up and we're instantly getting ready, talking about the day, getting Quinn up and ready and then he goes downstairs to work. He comes up after work and it's the same crazy. But taking 5 minutes in the AM, to intentionally say good-morning and I love you, can start the day in a totally different mentality.

Sometimes talking is hard for me. I am passive aggressive (saying it out-loud helps me deal with it and try and change it). I also don't like confrontation and I am quick to get over things. So sometimes I don't talk about it and I just clam up. On our anniversary, I felt sad and I didn't tell Adam why because I thought I could just get over it. However, when I actually talked to Adam and talked through feelings, we had the best conversation we've had in a long time. And he picked me up! He helped me through it.

Talk to each other.

Be honest. Even when it sucks. Even when it's hard. When you're mad, sad, hurt, happy, excited, turned on, etc. Your husband/spouse cannot read your mind. If you want to have sex, tell him. If you're pissed that he missed dinner (?), ell him. If you love him, tell him! If your feelings are hurt, tell him. Guys, if I've learned one thing it's that we often expect our partners to know exactly what we're thinking, wanting, needing. News flash, they don't. Be honest.

Go on adventures, engage in something your partner loves, travel. Adam loves sports, I could do without. But if indulging him for a day of football, cheering on the Broncos, and rocking a jersey, gives him life, then it's totally worth it for me to make him that happy! For me, I love double dates, or having people over, I LOVE hosting. Adam loves our friends, but he loves being home. But he knows that hosting gives me life and makes me feel fulfilled, so we host, a lot! Encourage your partners hobbies, speak life into the things that make them happy. Keep in mind, your partner should be willing to encourage your hobbies too. A relationship is not one-sided. Make adventure together. Find things you both LOVE doing. For example, the mountains are our happy place, together. So we make plans a lot to go to the mountains. We travel together. We make time for date nights. 

Kiss each other hello, goodbye, and goodnight. This may sound crazy, but the small PDA seems to be the first to go. Remember when you were first dating and you would greet your partner with a kiss every time you saw each other? Sometimes Adam walks in the door and I forget to even say hi! He just jumps in to whatever Quinnie and I are doing! We've been making it a big priority, to stop what I'm doing, walk over, say hi, I love you, give him a hug and a kiss. We do this before he leaves for work and when he gets home. It's being intentional. It's bringing back that sweet moment of intimacy, we've often let slide in the midst of a crazy busy life.

Don't wait for your partner to do the special things. I think as a girl sometimes I think it's all up to Adam to be romantic or spontaneous and I forget that he loves those things too! Don't be afraid to be the one to offer up some kind of surprise. And keep in mind it doesn't have to be huge gigantic surprises. It can be picking up his favorite beer when you're at the store, or his favorite treat. See a shirt he loves is on sale, grab it for him! Is your kid painting? Have her make him a sign for his office just because. It's little things that remind him you're thinking of him when he isn't around that makes a huge difference.


QUESTIONS || Guys, these questions are tough! I got three good ones and I hope I can help shine some light.
  1. Partner and I are just in a bad place - I started seeing a new therapist etc. I know I have to work on my own issues. So I guess like if you and Adam ever had a bad patch how did you work through it and make it better? First I hope to reassure you - all couples go through phases in their relationships where they aren't doing their best. My first advice, talk to each other. Tell each other how you specifically are feeling in life, in your relationship, etc. If talking is hard for the two of you, have you thought about seeing a therapist together? Sometimes it helps to have a third party there to walk and talk you through it. One of the hardest questions some couples don't want to ask, do we want to make this work? Love/relationship is a verb. It requires both sides of the relationship to work towards the common goal of being together. If one side is out and not interested, it may be time to have a different conversation.
  2. I feel like we don't get each other anymore. We have very different views on things and quarantine has made that more apparent? This is tough! My first question would be, are these different views, views that impact your relationship? Or just differing views on minor details, because sometimes thats fun! Let me explain the difference - basic differing views would be things like TV shows, taste in music, one likes sushi and the other doesn't. While these might be annoying (I'll be your sushi date!) they aren't necessarily relationship altering or ending. But, on the other hand, are these views things like, does one want kids and one doesn't? Does one want to get married and the other doesn't? Huge differences in religion, politics, or life goals. While these things can be worked out, they are more difficult! Next, I think you have to ask, are you willing to sacrifice certain goals (kids, marriage) for this person? Are you willing to overlook or not let it get in the way? If you can say yes, start talking. These conversations will be tough! But if you're both willing to do the work, I think differing opinions/views/ideas can be overcome. It might not be easy, but only you can decide if it's worth it. 
  3. What is your stance on cheating? How would you approach it? Honest answer, I don't know. I was cheated on by a boyfriend in high-school and took him back way too many times. I said after that relationship, I would never tolerate it again. Now, I'm married and Adam hasn't cheated. I honestly can't say what I would do if it did happen. I think only the person in the relationship who has had that happen can answer that question. One of my favorite Instagrammers, Jami was cheated on during her marriage. She is very vocal about it, and how her and her husband fought to make their marriage work. They are still together, and happy. You can go through her IG highlights, or watch this IGTV to learn more about their story, directly from them. I hope that helps!

 FRIEND ADVICE || This advice is from some of my closest friends, funniest followers, and people I trust! No names given because -- privacy. But I hope these help, make you laugh, and feel close to your partner!
  • Crotchless panties
  • Sex!!! Have it. Enjoy it. Talk about it. Repeat! 
  • Go to counseling. You can't drive a car for more than 3K miles without a tuneup, same goes for marriage. 
  • Find couples that you both enjoy hanging out with
  • If you're having an argument, try and hold hands or be physically connected
  • When in arguments - turn towards each other, not away 
  • Ask for what you need Your partner can't read your mind
  • "It's not your against me, it's us against the problem" mindset
  • "I" statements. Feels silly, but so straight forward and can jumpstart an awkward conversation 
  • Asking "how can I show up for your better?" Help creates a safe space to ask for help. 
  • My husband and I did ReEngagae 16 week course <-- linked
  • Never go to bed angry, hash it out and then sleep. 
  • We got a vibrator and we have been using it to warm be up and we are both in to it!
  • We agree here: God, partner, kids
  • When the moment is heated, take a deep breath and say you to a minute or five to think 
Are you in a relationship? Married? What is your best piece of advice?

read article

25 Breastfeeding Tips!

June 17, 2020

When I wrote my first breastfeeding post, I was 34 weeks pregnant and was getting ready to embark on a nursing journey I knew nothing about. I reached out to some of my best friends to write that post. They gave me amazing advice and really helped prepare me for what was to come.

Here I am again, this time 35 weeks pregnant and getting ready for another nursing journey. This time with a little bit more knowledge in my back pocket, and still leaning on friends to guide me through.

If you want to read the original post - you can find it here Bun Maternity + 17 Breastfeeding Tips! or my other one Breastfeeding 101! This one is honesty the most comprehensive :)  I've combined some of the best tips from that post and some new ones I picked up along the way. I also had a few questions from Instagram friends and I wanted to answer them here! 

 Disclaimer: Links in the post may be affiliate links if you click them and purchase something it costs you nothing but I make a little percentage. Thanks for supporting brands that support EG.

QUESTIONS || 

 Is there such thing as a pump that is more comfortable or less comfortable? Yes! I used the Medela Pump in Style Advanced with Quinn. It worked great for me for the entire time I nursed. This time I picked the Spectra - just to try it out! I'll keep you posted, and maybe do a full post on both once I've tried!

Ps. Before you buy, you can go here and get one FREE from your Insurance. I loved this pump. Granted it was the only one I ever used, but it was great. One major tip - try different nipple shields.

I remember, I was 2 weeks postpartum and I called my mom guru Lyndsey because when I pumped, I was literally pumping nothing. I knew something was up because Quinnie was eating well, and sleeping well, so I knew she was getting milk. I had read the instructions on what nipple shield to use (make sure your nipple doesn't touch the shield) but my friend told me to just go ahead and try the larger one. Once I did, OMG guys, I pumped SO much milk. Don't be afraid to try all the shields.

My boobs are so incredibly sore and I'm pregnant, tips for sore boobs now and after? First, welcome to the breastfeeding club! Sore boobs are a right of passage :) For sore boobs while pregnant - try hot showers and let the water hit them. Wear a comfortable bra! Girls, I hate to tell ya, but it's time to get rid of your sexy lacy bras and underwire, and exchange them for your nursing bras. Here are my favorites. But I swear, no underwire will be a GAME changer! If they are super sore, try frozen breast pads. I used these when I first started nursing and they are amazing.

Sore when you start nursing? Lansinoh nipple cream and frozen breast pads. Also, know the pain will end. Your nips will get used to it and then you'll forget about the pain (until your babe gets teeth) :) Related to sore boobs, not nips -- sometimes it felt good to pump after nursing. We did a dream feed (more on sleep schedules later) and sometimes Quinn wouldn't eat fully and I would still feel a little full. If I knew she wouldn't eat for another 3-4 hours, I would go and pump off the extra to ease the soreness.

I have clogged ducts, help! This happened to me once and OMG, I am so sorry. It is so dang painful. So my MIL told me when this happens, get in the shower, turn the water on VERY hot and let it hit your boob. Then, squeeze. Push hard on the area that is clogged. Ladies, this will hurt so bad. Ask your husband if you aren't strong enough. Trust me it isn't sexy, but sometimes you need the extra push. If it's not that clogged, nurse a little extra and massage the area as your baby is nursing. Honestly, them nursing is probably the best and easiest way. Or, just massage the area. Grab a heating pad and rub.

Milk Boosting Suggestions! I read somewhere that oatmeal helps with milk production, so what did I do? I ate oatmeal EVERY morning. Still do. I know that's weird, but it worked great for me (plus it kept me full!).
  • I pumped after all my feedings (for the first few weeks).
  • I made lactation cookies and balls. They are delicious. 
  • I took these lactation pills! 
  • I drank this tea.
  • I chugged a ton of water, way more water than you think is necessary. My advice, get a Yeti and drink one per-feeding and then more in between. 
  • I love these cookies too. 
25 BREASTFEEDING TIPS ||
  1. Stay calm! Go to a zen place in your mind and your milk will flow like Niagara Falls! Literally think happy thoughts because if you are stressed or upset (which is so easy to be at first when the baby won’t latch and you don’t really know what you’re doing) your milk will literally shut off. Be patient with yourself - this is new but your body does the work for you.  Give it time and know that you are doing good 
  2. Massage your boobs before you feed when starting out. You have milk ducts all the way in your arm pit (you’ll find this out when your milk comes in and it’s rock solid over there for the first few days!) but massaging really helps get the flow to start and helps the baby want to latch if they get a little teaser taste. 
  3. Count dirty diapers to ensure she's getting enough milk/food. 
  4. Those first few days at home - try different places to nurse to find what’s comfortable for you. I initially thought nursing in bed would be so easy, but it took me forever to get comfortable there. Turns out, this random chair in our family room was my favorite spot! 
  5. Get a milk grabber. These are pumps that aren’t really pumps but they suction onto your boob that you aren’t feeding on and catch the leaking! So no wasted breast milk!  I got this one: The NatureBond Silicone Manual Breast Pump Breastfeeding Milk Saver Suction.
  6. Have pineapple juice handy, it helps alleviate mastitis.
  7. Let's talk Mastitis. Honestly, I never had mastitis, but I did have clogged ducts. One of my very close girlfriends had mastitis and guys, it sucks. She had flu-like symptoms, it hurt like hell, and she had to get on antibiotics to clear it. My advice, ASK FOR HELP. I have heard stories about women not asking for help because they're told "nursing hurts - suck it up." But ladies, it shouldn't hurt THAT bad. If you start showing symptoms, see a doctor. There is no shame is asking for help or asking for someone else's opinion. 
  8. Don’t get discouraged if it doesn’t happen right away! My first day breast feeding my daughter was amazing but then the second day was awful! She wouldn’t latch, she was screaming and I was super stressed out (and that was still in the hospital!) but I ended up breastfeeding her until 13 months so just try to stay positive.
  9. Lansinoh nipple cream, trust me and keep disposable nursing pads handy  - the first few weeks - you will leak and your boobs will hurt. I thought disposable pads were easier than having to wash reusable pads. Buy the disposables here. Quick tip - if your nips are super sensitive, the reusable ones are a titch bit softer (usually suede/velvet) if that feels better in those initial "breaking in" period. Buy the reusable ones heres.
  10. Make sure the nurses put the baby on your breast (kangaroo style - naked baby to your chest (no clothes) as soon as it is possible.  
  11. Take a class before you deliver. I didn't do this because I kind of forgot. If you have time, take a class, if you don't - don't leave the hospital until you meet with a lactation consultant.
  12. The first few weeks it hurts (regardless of a good latch or not). Keep in mind, if it hurts SO bad, ask for help. But there will be a breaking in period of sore nipples, hard boobs (as your milk comes in) and a feeling of being generally sore. I had some nursing pads that you could heat or freeze and use after nursing to help sooth. They were so helpful throughout the entire time I nursed.  You can buy those pads here!
  13. Ask for a lactation nurse at the hospital before you leave - maybe the second day after delivery (have them watch you latch multiple times - ask questions - take full advantage of their knowledge - have your partner/husband there taking notes (helps at home). This was huge for me. Quinn latched right away (god bless) but the THIRD time a lactation nurse came in, she gave me a new tip and Quinn fed SO much better. 
  14. Find a mom group - ask questions. If you don't want to find a group, ask a friend you trust. Ask me! You should not have to go at this alone.
  15. If the baby is crying while they eat or having a lot of spit up - look at your diet. Check for things like gluten and dairy, maybe even tomatoes. For me, Quinn spit up every single time I had BBQ sauce. Took me 2 times before I stopped eating it while nursing and boom, better.
  16. Stay hydrated! If you think you drank a lot during pregnancy, think again. I remember sitting down to nurse and I'd have my coffee, a HUGE water, and a snack. It was incredible how thirsty I got during 20 minutes of nursing! And how hungry. Quinn would be done eating and I would scarf food. 
    1. Ps. This Yeti is MONEY. Get this lid and these straws too. 
  17. Try different breastfeeding positions - once my c-section got better (friend advice!) - I loved laying down to feed. But football was my go to in the very beginning because it didn’t have pressure on my c-section. For me, the traditional way to hold Quinn worked great for my left boob, and football hold for my right boob. Don't ask me why, it's just what she preferred! 
    1. Also, this pillow is great! I used it at the veryyy beginning when Quinnie was so teeny. It's nice to help prop up your arms! 
  18. You have to have a little humor when you leak or milk sprays all over - or when you shower and for a second think of the baby and there goes the milk. Or when you wake up soaked in breastmilk. Just remind yourself, you're doing this for the baby. 
  19. Don't be afraid to offer a bottle. I think the "experts" say to wait until 6 weeks. We offered Quinnie one at 3 weeks. Adam was about to go back to work and I really wanted him to be able to feed Quinn and have a special time with her (and to help me out!). Quinnie started taking a breastmilk bottle at 3 weeks for her night feeding. One perk was I could tell exactly how much she was eating. The second perk, bonding time with Adam. The third perk, I got about an hour at night to sit on the couch, scroll insta, make dinner, relax! It was such a huge blessing. Plus when she went to daycare at 5 months, she took a bottle like a champ. 
    1. Bottle Tips - Leave when someone else is giving your baby the bottle. Your urge when she fights it is to run up there and help. Don't. Give it time. Obviously if she never takes it you want her to eat, but give it time (like over an hour!). 
    2. Plus, if you are in the room/house, your baby can smell you! She would much prefer your boob over a bottle.
    3. Don't be afraid to mix up bottles. We tried different nipples, bottles, holds, etc. 
    4. Warm the milk. 
    5. Don't force it. It will take time to get her used to it. 
    6. Here are the bottles we loved: Comotomo
  20. Lose the snooze.  This was Quinn to a T - she would fall asleep within 5 minutes. Then she wouldn't eat well, if it all, was hungry, you get the cycle. If your infant keeps falling asleep on your breast, try tickling the bottom of his feet, stroking him under the chin, or touching him with a wet washcloth. Adam would grab an ice cube and touch her toes. She thought it was hilarious and it would wake her up.
  21. Don't overwash your boobs. Hear me out. Babies smell you! Thats how they know it's you! Using harsh scents, soaps, lotions, can interfere with your scent! 
  22. Trust your gut and be kind to yourself - there are a lot of changes after delivering and the 4th trimester is constantly full of them - ask for help! 
  23. Get nursing tanks and good nursing bras. Just trust me. The first month you are very busy nursing, you leak, and you're sore. Also, don't worry about getting cute bras. I threw all mine out after Quinnie (thanks to leaking boobs) and got more. This is the time that boobs aren't totally sexy, sorry hubs. These are my favorite bras - they even come in a deep-v option! These are my favorite tanks.
  24. Get a tracking app! At the very beginning when you're nursing a ton, you may forget which boob you started with last time, how long she nursed for, etc. I was told to switch boobs each time I started nursing at the beginning to help bring my milk it. Plus, it helps with engorgement. I used Boobie Time - it was simple and was just a timer for each side. There are much fancier apps where you can track the diapers, etc. 
  25. Get a good pump. News alert - you get one for free with your insurance. Go here, put in your insurance, get a free pump! They will send it about 5 weeks before you deliver. With Quinn I got the Medela, with this baby, I am trying the Spectra! 
My biggest piece of advice - a well fed baby and a happy mama is the best kind. I know you can breastfeed! But if you try and it's too much, there is NO shame is bottle fed! If its taking a toll on your mental health, there is NO shame in a bottle fed baby. 

 And, ask for help! Don't be afraid to look up a lactation specialist, even after you get home. Most hospitals offer them for FREE! They will do a phone call consult, or you can take classes with your baby at the hospital. People want to help, I want to help. Reach out, ask questions - we're all in this together.


read article

Episode 59: Sex and the City Creator Candace Bushnell

June 16, 2020

On Episode 59 of This Girl Life, Kristen and Whitney sit down with renowned author Candace Bushnell. Candace turned her Sex and the City, New York Observer column in the cult classic we all know today. She is a best-selling author and producer, creating other shows such as Lipstick Jungle and the Carrie Diaries. We talk with Candace about her life in NYC, writing and creating Sex and the City, the TV process, her two newest books, Is There Still Sex in the City and Rules for Being a Girl, and some inside scoop on all things Carrie, Big, and Aiden.

Join us as we talk to Candace, the creator of a show that defined our generation (or at least it did for us!).



Listen to our episode here:


read article

My 5 Favorite Mocktails

June 15, 2020

Whether you're pregnant, a non-drinker, sober, or the DD for the day, everyone deserves a delicious drink. If pregnancy has taught me one thing, it's how much of my socialization is centered around a delicious beverage. Girls bachelor nights with wine. Sunday funday with Adam and Moscow Mules. Chick-Fil-A drive through with a large diet lemonade. See, I don't always need alcohol :)

During Quinn's pregnancy, I tried all the non-alcoholic wines, and spoiler alert - they all suck. You won't find any wines on this list. And I'm sure I'll hear people who swear by a certain brand, but let's be real, if you weren't pregnant, you wouldn't drink that "wine."

That is how I made this list - mocktails I will still drink when I'm not pregnant.

If you know anything about me, you know how much I love champagne. It's my favorite cocktail, because let's be real, it's always a good time to drink bubbles. Breakfast - mimosa, brunch - mimosa, afternoon and dinner - champs. It's the best. I did some due diligence on finding delicious alcoholic bubbles. Introducing my first choice in the mocktail department.


1. Fre Sparkling Brut 
Ingredients & Recipe: Open bottle, pour in a champs glass, enjoy!

2. Seedlip Grove 42 + Ginger Beer + Lime. If we're Instagram friends then you've seen me talk about Seedlip before. My sweet neighbor gave me this spirit when I first got pregnant and I've been hooked ever since! If you love Moscow Mules - you will love this.
Ingredients:

3. Seedlip Grove 42 + Orange LaCroix + Lime. Also, if we're Instagram friends, you know my obsession with orange La Croix. I am not usually a La Croix fan, but pregnant Kristen drinks it by the gallon. 
Ingredients:

 4. Sparkling Raspberry Lemonade Mojito. I'm obsessed with mojitos. But truth be told, I never order them when we're out, because they are such a pain to make! But they are so dang refreshing! 
Ingredients:
  • Handful of mint leaves - muddled
  • 2 oz freshly squeezed lime juice
  • 8 oz Sparkling Raspberry Lemonade - this brand is my favorite!! 
  • Top with Lime La Croix (or plain sparkling water)
  • Garnish: Raspberries, mint, lime wedge

 5. Sparkling Peach Bellini. If you've ever been to Oreganos, you know about their peach bellinis. They are a delicious frozen cocktail with so much good rum on top and of course, champs. Here's a mocktail version! 
Ingredients:

What's your go-to mocktail? 
read article

Episode 58: Laughter In A Time of Darkness with Comedian Andrea Lopez

June 9, 2020

On episode 58 of This Girl Life, Whitney and Kristen sit down with Andrea Lopez Celebrity Impressionist, Comedian, Podcast co-host ‘Hey Frase’, Buzzfeed Commentator and former radio personality most recently featured on NBC's comedy series 'Bring The Funny'. If you are on Tik Tok you'll probably know her from her spot on Kourtney Kardashian impression. On this episode we laughed, cried and even did a little role played. We really wanted to bring you some joy and light in a time that has been heavy for so many people.

Follow Andrea on Instagram
Check out her podcast 'Hey Frase’



Follow along with @tglpodcast on Instagram
Get social using #tgltuesdays & don't forget to stalk your hosts: @kgrace01 and @positivelyposie

Listen to our episode here:
read article

Anti-Racism Resources

June 5, 2020

Where do I even start this? These last few weeks have been quite the weeks. I am not here to make this about me. But I just want to touch on my silence, my re-posts to my Insta-stories, and my hopes with this blog post. I hope you hear my heart and my intentions. These last few weeks have felt so heavy on my heart. The ache of an entire community being played out for the masses. The ache I feel wanes in comparison to the one the black community is feeling today. 

 Over the last week, I pulled myself off social media to listen and to learn, with an open heart, and an open mind. And man, was it convicting. 

 I've never considered myself racist. Easy enough to say right? I've never made or intentionally made racist comments. But have I been actively anti-racist? No. Have I actively commented every single time I've heard things that are racist. No. Have I actively stopped conversation when it "goes too far." No. Have I lovingly called out friends or family when they've made remarks. No.

 That all stops now. I feel embarrassed to say it's taken me this long in my life to say it stops now, but that is me learning, and growing, and taking accountability. One of the many things I really, really leaned into this week, was how to actively be anti-racist. It's not enough to just not be racist. It's a verb to be anti-racist. 

 By being quiet and listening this week, I've learned more about an entire race than I have in my entire life. 

 And, to all my black friends, I am sorry. I have not been the best ally I can be. I will not make excuses, but I will make this promise to you. I will be better. I will speak up, I will continue to learn, I will continue to educate myself, and I will continue to listen. 

That was the huge theme of this week, listening. I listened to people I trust, I watched videos, I read, I listened to stories, and I really heard them.

 I've been thinking a lot about how I want to start integrating my "usual" content. What I hope through this week, is that black content creators, stories of race, education about race, and everything I've shared this week, becomes my "normal" content. I don't want this week of silence to come and go and then I go back to "normal." I want this topic to be part of my normal. 

 That starts with todays post. One thing I hope to bring to you through this post, is an ever-growing list of things we can all do to continue learning. If you have more resources, please reach out. I really want this list to be ever-changing, and growing as I continue to learn. 

 When I started this week, I reached for my Bible. 

 I wanted to hear God on this. Genesis starts with us all being created in God's image. Literally Genesis 1:27, "We are all created in God's image." Meaning we are all perfectly made in God's eyes. We will never look into the eyes of a man that God did not create. Woah. If that doesn't set the stage for how we treat our fellow humans! 

 VERSES ABOUT RACE IN THE BIBLE || 
  • God cares how we treat each other because we’re all created in His image (Genesis 1:27). He makes no distinction between the inherent value of one race or ethnicity over another.
  • God cares about people regardless of their ethnicity, nationality, and social status (Deuteronomy 10:17-19).
  • "God does not show favoritism but accepts from every nation the one who fears him and does what is right" (Acts 10:34-35).
  • "We were all baptized by one Spirit so as to form one body—whether Jews or Gentiles, slave or free—and we were all given the one Spirit to drink” (1 Corinthians 12:13).
  • "If you show favoritism, you sin and are convicted by the law as lawbreakers” (James 2:9).
  • About the age to come, we see a heavenly picture: “a great multitude that no one could number, from every nation, from all tribes and peoples and languages, standing before the throne and before the Lamb” (Revelation 7:9-10).
  • Jesus removes hostility and introduces harmony (Ephesians 2:14-18).
  • God isn’t about separation, but inclusion and unity. Jesus made it possible for anyone to be included in the people and promises of God (Galatians 3:28).
BOOKS AND THINGS TO READ: I just received from a dear friend White Fragility and have been working through it. Honestly, it's hard to read in parts because it talks about race (!) and racism (!) and it opens the door for uncomfortable conversations about why. It's honestly been a great first read for me on this journey. 


BOOKS FOR KIDS: One thing I've been working through this week is how to show Quinn and teach Quinn in her day-to-day about race. These are a few of the books I purchased for her to add to her library. 

 TO WATCH: A few nights ago, I watched Emmanuel Acho speak so beautifully, and so eloquently about helping educate white people. He answered questions a lot of white people have and did so with kindness. You can watch it here (It's IGTV and I don't know how else to share it).

BLACK OWNED DENVER BUSINESSES  (<---- click the link) Supporting my community is so easy. There are over 250 businesses listed here! This community is incredible.

BLACK OWNED BEAUTY BUSINESSES: 
PODCASTS:


BLACK CONTENT CREATORS ON INSTAGRAM: Black out Tuesday hit me like a brick. A beautiful day set to amplify black voices, made me realize how few black content creators I followed because my timeline was pitch black squares. I started searching and was blown away. Here are some of the content creators I started following and now my feed is so much more vibrant.
  • Emmanuel Acho - He posted the video above and I've been hooked since
  • Color me Courtney - I LOVE Courtney, her beautiful spirit and her message. Her feed is the color we all need in our lives.
  • From Privilege to Progress - these two powerful females talk about race, breaking it down, and cover all topics
  • Layla Saad - NYT Bestselling Author #MeAndWhiteSupremacy
  • Danielle Coke - I found Dani after a super powerful IGTV she posted this past week. She is a bright, bright light. 
  • Priscilla Shirer - I love this woman. I did her Armor of God bible study last summer with my moms' bible study and she changed my life. She is incredible.
  • Brittany Packnett Cunningham - A christian IG powerhouse. 
  • W Kamau Bell - He is blunt, and he is honest and I appreciate him more than he'll know.
  • Ally Love - Peloton instructor, basketball host, beautiful, boss.
BLACK CONTENT CREATORS ON TWITTER


Let me be so clear. I am nowhere close to where I want to be in my educational journey on this topic. But I am committed to doing better, being better, and continuing to learn. I hope these resources help you as much as they've helped me!

And like I mentioned in the beginning, please share any resources, accounts you follow, businesses to try out, any resources you have or have learned about. I want this list to be ever-growing.
read article

Episode 57: Emily Roberts; Pelvic Floor Therapist

June 2, 2020

On episode 57 of This Girl Life, Whitney and Kristen sit down with Emily Roberts, pelvic floor therapist and shares some helpful tidbits, for your lady bits, when they’re falling to bits. Do you think peeing when you sneeze or laugh is normal? Do you have pain with sex? Are you on incontinence meds or forced to wear depends? If you answered yes to any of these questions, than this episode is for you! Emily breaks down what pelvic floor therapy is, all while breaking the stigma of this sensitive and often private conversation.
A little more about Emily: 
Emily received her Bachelor’s degree from the University of Wisconsin-Madison. She went on to receive her Doctorate in Physical Therapy from UW-Madison as she wasn’t quite ready yet to leave her love for cheese, the Madison lakes, and the Packers. Following a year as a travel PT, she moved back to Minnesota, her home state, to work in the Twin Cities in outpatient orthopedics. She specialized in work with runners, low back, hip, and pelvic pain. After sitting for her Certified Orthopedic Specialist exam, she decided to further specialize in pelvic floor physical therapy and continued to advance her orthopedic manual skills through ongoing coursework.

read article
Subscribe to: Posts (Atom)

latest 'grams from @Kgrace01

© The Everyday Grace.
Theme by dulcet sight.