I cannot believe I am writing this post. It is crazy to think 365 days ago, my little Quinnie came into this world. GF, took her sweet sweet time, but after 25 hours of labor, she decided to make her appearance. It's mind blowing. Quinn is a year old!


Lately, I've ben doing a lot of thinking about the last year. I've looked at all her pictures and I've watched all the videos. I've thought about the hard moments, like when she wouldn't stop crying and we didn't know how to soothe her. I've thought about the quiet moments where it was just her and me. I've thought about the memories we made, the pictures we've taken, the trips we've shared. Truth be told I have cried thinking about how big she is, about these memories.

But a few days ago I had a mind adjustment. Yes, it's hard to believe that Quinn is a year old, but I am so blessed that she is one year old. The alternative would be that she's not here. That we wouldn't be celebrating this sweet baby we prayed for forever. But we are here, Quinn is here and that fact is not lost on me. So yes, I'm emotional about her getting older, but I am so glad I get to celebrate her first birthday.

While I've been thinking about this last year, I've been thinking about how it's changed me, changed Adam and changed us. I always knew I wanted to be a parent. But honestly, I didn't think I'd love it as much as I do. Hear me out. I thought I'd love being a parent, but I thought it would be one more thing I'd add to the list of things I do, not become the main, best, all consuming, life altering thing. And, it totally has. Being Quinn's mom has changed my life in so many ways. Not only did I survive this last year as a mom, I thrived, I found my greatest purpose in life and I truly believe being her mom has made me a better person, friend, wife, and human.

She's given me the greatest joy I've ever experienced. She's shown me new ways to love myself, Adam, and the people around me. She's taught me that life is so much more special than I treated it before hand. That life is so much more precious. Time is invaluable, and love and family are the only things that really matters.

My prayer for my sweet quinnie, is that she always loves life as much as she does today. I hope she always makes that scrunchie face when she's happy. I hope she always loves baths, always belly laughs when mom tickles her, plays the "AH!" game with dad forever, and that she never stops smiling with her entire face.

Quinn Grace, you’re my greatest joy.

Likes:

• Being mobile. Gf doesn't wanna be held, or locked down. She wants to be everywhere.
• Lola and Henry
• Her sippy cup full of whole milk. 
• Her swing.
• Walks. We go on a long walk every day and it's her favorite time of day.
• Clapping and yelling yayyyyy! 
• The bath. If we let her, she would stay in the bath forever.

Dislikes

• Eggs
• Hamburger
• Red sauce on pasta 

Firsts:

• Molars. Guys, one year molars are miserable.  

Current Routine & Sleep: 

• 7am: Up!
• 715am: Breakfast
• 8am: Play
• 9am: Nap
• 11am: Snack! 
• 12pm: Lunch and play!
• 2pm: Nap
• 3pm: Big snack  
• 5pm: Mini-nap
• 6pm: Dinner
• 7pm: Bath and bed

Things to Remember:

• Her sweet giggle. It's honestly an intoxicating noise. 
• The way she explores and finds new things. She is so aware. She is always looking around, she is curious. 
• She is so joyful and happy. She exudes peace. 
• Her sweet little blonde curls.
• When we pick her up from daycare and how excited she is to see me. 
• When she is very hungry and shoves food in her mouth with both hands.
• The way she scrunches her face and sniffs when she is being naughty.
• The way she shakes her head no when you say no to her. 

Quinn is TEN months old! DOUBLE DIGITS. Don't mind me, I'll just be over here crying and looking at videos of my baby, because now she is a big girl.

Cheers to my 10-month old babe. The last 10 months have honestly been the sweetest of my life. Albeit challenging at times, being Quinnie's mom is the best thing in the entire world. She is happy, sweet, loving, cuddly, spicy, and so dang cute.


Size: At our 9-month appointment, she was 20.4 pounds (88%), 28 inches long (86%), and 19 inches head (97%!)

Likes:

• Crawling! GF is on the move and loves it. She is all over our house.
• Lola and Henry
• Her sippy cup. 
• Blowing kisses to anyone and everyone 
• Big kids - even if they are only a little bit older, she is in awe of big kids
• Her Zebra walker.
• Her elephant lovey - and honestly, i love it too. It's so cute and soft. She can't sleep without it.
• Waiving to everyone. She now says hi and bye too!
• Her Hug-a-Bible 
• Walks. We go on a long walk every day and it's her favorite time of day.
• Clapping and yelling yayyyyy! 
• The bath. If we let her, she would stay in the bath forever.

Dislikes

• Hats
• Splash day. At school, they put her under a sprinkler haha and she hates it. (I don't blame her, I hate getting splashed too).

Firsts:

• Crawling! 
• Pulling herself up on everything! 
• Pneumonia! So sad. 
• First Father's Day!
• Moms first birthday with a baby!
• Lake Okoboji with our best friends.
• First Fourth of July!
• Saying hi and bye

Current Routine & Sleep: 

• 7am: Up and nurse
• 745am: Breakfast and play
• 9am: Nap
• 11am: Nurse 
• 12pm: Lunch and play!
• 2pm: Nap
• 3pm: Big snack (We just weened this nursing! Cue the tears!) 
• 5pm: Mini-nap
• 6pm: Dinner
• 7pm: Bath, nurse and bed

Things to Remember:

• How much she loves her dad. Whenever we are all home together, she is all about him. Their bond is the most precious thing in the world. 
• Her crawling and exploring her world. She is so curious. 
• Her giggle. When the dogs lick her, when we play peek-a-boo, when you tickle her, basically anything. 
• Her wink. 
• She claps and says "yayyyyyy" - she's cheering for herself. I hope she always has that attitude.

Quinn is eight months old! It's so hard to believe that our sweet little babe, who to me, seems like she was just born yesterday, is already 8 months old. She seems so grown up. She's sitting up, eating real food, "talking" back to us, and interacting so much.

I haven't done monthly updates on the blog, which looking back, I so wish I had! But it's never too late. Cheers to my 8-month old babe.


Size: We don't have an 8 month checkup, but I going to assume she is around 20 pounds. At her 6 month, she was 18 pounds and since then, she's been eating real food. So let's just guess, 20 pounds. She is wearing 9 month clothes and is almost outgrowing those!

Likes:

• Sweet potato, eggs, yogurt, cottage cheese, chicken, peanut butter, salmon, squash, mac and cheese, blueberries, and puffs. (And pretty much any other food)
• Lola and Henry
• Playing the "AH" game with Dada. He says AH and she yells it back. They go back and forth playing this game forever
• Napping - gf loves a good morning nap
• Sitting at restaurants in the high chair 
• Waiving at everyone
• Saying mama and dada
• Any and all music
• Her play piano
• The bath
• Her bouncer and her Joovy Spoon walker 
• Her stuffed animals, Roger the rabbit, Betty the bunny, and Mr. Bear
• Every single book, but especially the touch and feel books. (Never Touch a Shark) 

Dislikes

• Ground beef 
• Strawberries
• Poopy diapers
• Sunglasses

Firsts:

• Said mama! 
• We had a mama and daughter's day out at Nordstrom Cafe. 
• Backyard picnic (loved having her feet in the grass)
• Our first roadtrip is this weekend! 
• First time having the flu :(
• First mothers day! 

Current Routine & Sleep: 

• 7am: Up and nurse
• 745am: Breakfast and play
• 9am: Nap
• 11am: Nurse
• 12pm: Lunch and play!
• 2pm: Nap
• 3pm: Nurse
• 400pm: Snack
• 5pm: Mini-nap
• 6pm: Dinner
• 7pm: Bath, nurse and bed

Things to Remember:

• First time she said mama
• Her big smile whenever Adam comes home from work 
• How she loves to eat so much and kicks her feet while doing so
• How she laughs so hard when you tickle her tummy
• How she snores when she naps
• Her little wave and how she genuinely is so happy to see anyone and everyone
• How she smacks her lips when she eats 
• Her chubby hands
• How she can almost say bye bye - bah bah
• My first mothers day and how she took a nap on me
• How when I pick her up from daycare, she smiles ear to ear and waives at me

Quinnie, you are our biggest joy, sweet babe. You LOVE saying Dada, I’ll love when you say Mama. You love playing with your puppies, hate pears and bananas, but love chicken and yogurt. You are almost crawling (I bet you get it this weekend) and you crack yourself up. I’ll never get sick of hearing your laugh. Now, stop growing up, sweet girl.

It's 3 am and your hair is in a messy bun, you have sleep in your eyes, spit up on your robe and you haven't slept more than 3 hours in 8 weeks. You are stumbling to the nursery to cuddle and nurse your little one. You're the only one in your entire house (and probably the neighborhood) who's awake so you try and be extra quiet. These quiet moments are my favorite. The house is dark, my husband and dogs are sleeping peacefully but for now, it's me and her.

She doesn't know it's the middle of the night as I pick her up from her crib. She smiles with that baby smile and it takes over her entire face. Her eyes squint, her smile is huge, and she sticks out her little tongue. She is thrilled to see me. She coos and cuddles as I change her, nurse her and rock her back to sleep. She doesn't know that I'm hurrying to get her to sleep so I too can go back to sleep, but for now, its me and her.

Mama, I see you.


It's 4pm and I've been balancing work and video calls while the sweetest little babe (who only needs me) is sitting patiently next to me. She wants to cuddle as we dance around the kitchen, all while my work is messaging me about the landing page I'm helping to create. She wants to play while I'm trying to pump and scarf down my 3 hour old oatmeal from this morning. She wants to snuggle while I've got one hand on my phone and one on my keyboard. She's watching me while I work, and I hope she knows I'm just doing this for her. Today, I've only microwaved my coffee twice, and this is a huge win. I'm counting down until Adam texts me that he's on his way home from work so we can all be together again. But for now, it's me and her.

Mama, I see you.

It's 9pm and Quinn is sleeping like the perfect angel baby she is. She's been asleep for 2 hours and I miss her more than imaginable. Adam and I are laying in bed scrolling through pictures of the day and I can't help but cry because she's growing up so fast. Today she laughed at me, I tell Adam, and then I show him videos of her doing that. Today she almost rolled over and I am so proud. Today she put her own pacifier back in her mouth and I called Adam to brag. I crave for the moment she wakes up and gives me that full face smile and again its me and her.

Mama, I see you.

This season of life is so wonderful and challenging and and amazing full of love that I'm not sure I have the words to do it justice. But even with a perfect angel baby, this season of life can feel lonely! I almost feel bad saying that because we waited so long to have this sweet baby in our life. It's the best job title I've ever had.

So yes, the 3am wake up calls are hard, but ya know what? They'll be over soon enough and I'll be wishing for those 3am smiles and coos.

Mama, I see you. I see your hard work. I see your tears. I see the love you give your family while balancing work and the house and dinner and the laundry and the dogs and the tedious tasks that most of the time go unnoticed. I see the way you fight for your family. I see how hard you work. I see the worry you have every day wondering if you're doing a good enough job. I see the stress. I see the love. I see you. I feel you. I'm with you.

Mama, we're in this together.

When people ask me about being a mom, my first response is, I wish I did it sooner so it could be me and her.

This post has taken me forever to write and I'm so excited to share it with you guys!

When we found out we were having a girl I was so excited for so many amazing reasons. One, obviously because we were having a daughter, and two, imagine how cute the nursery would be!

I honestly had no idea how I wanted to decorate her room, all I knew was I wanted it to be soft pink and girly. Her room is almost done! We are only waiting on some art work for her room. Quinn is lucky to have her nana (my mom) and her papa (father-in-law) painting her something!



Her room isn't huge, so I didn't want a ton of bulky furniture. I love this short little bookshelf. Perfect for all her sweet books, pictures of Adam and I and her noise machine and humidifier. It's the perfect height for under her window and again, matches the white of the crib.

The sheepskin is from her Nana Jane. It's made for babys! They love the feeling when they lay on it, plus you can clean it. She does tummy time and lays on it every morning! This one is linked here -- it's short wool.


Be still my heart. Is there anything better than watching your husband with your daughter? It is my favorite thing to watch them and see their sweet bond. Quinn absolutely lights up when Adam comes home from work or walks in a room. She's daddy's little girl already. Adam has created a routine with Quinn where he puts her to sleep every night. He feeds her, gets her ready, rocks her and puts her down. It's the sweetest moments.

I absolutely love her bookshelves that hang above her chair. When we were designing her room, I knew I wanted to incoorprate her older cousins somehow. She has 6 amazing older cousins and I know they are going to be BFFs. I had each of them paint a little canvas for her room. The big cousins, Tomas, Izzy and V painted whatever they wanted and Leo, Otto and Jack did their footprints and handprints. I love the bright colors and their sweet little hand and foot prints. It's such a sweet thing for Q to have something from all 6 of them!

The dolls and piggy banks are other sweet gifts she's received from family and friends at our showers. Quinn is so loved by many and I love that its shown in her room.



This is by far my favorite room in our house. It's cozy and bright and full of love. Thanks for walking through her sweet little room with me!

Two months later and I'm finally sharing Quinn's birth story. Life has been kind of nuts and this post has taken me way longer than anticipated, but better late than never right?

Our day started like any other day. It was a Monday morning, Adam's alarm went off, he snoozed it twice, got up, showered and started getting ready for his day at work. I usually sleep in a little after he wakes up and this day was no different except I slept horribly. I was up from about 2am-6am panicking about work and maternity leave and the whole bringing a baby into the world thing.

Adam got out of the shower at about 630am and woke me up and as soon as I sat up in bed, it felt like I peed a little.

Before we jump in to the nitty gritty of labor and delivery, this is your fair warning that I use words like placenta and water breaking and umbilical cord. Continue at your own risk :) 

Let's back up a little. I had been planning Quinn's delivery since I got pregnant. Her due date was September 11 and honestly, I didn't want to have a baby on 9/11. The second I found out I was pregnant, I was hell bent on not having a 9/11 baby. Everyone knew; my doc, my friends, my parents, we were not having a baby on 9/11.

At my 39 week appointment, I scheduled my induction date for the night of 9/11, therefore guaranteeing I didn't have her on 9/11, but instead on 9/12. Call me crazy but I had it all planned. My parents and Adams parents were driving to Colorado the morning of 9/11. My maternity leave was set to start on 9/11. We were all set. I was even scheduled to go to my first moms bible study on September 10.

But, at 6:30am on September 10, my water broke and everything I thought I planned went straight out the window. Being this is my first baby, my expectation of having my water break was like a scene in the movies. You know in Sex and the City when Mirandas water breaks all over Carries shoes and ruins them? Not even close to my experience. I wasn't even sure my water actually broke. I went to the bathroom and more came out but still I wasn't convinced. It just kind of feels like leaking. At this point, Adam is googling things, calling his mom and I was on the phone with our doc.

My doc said it sounded like it broke, but to be sure I should head to the hospital and have them test it. So Adam and I rushed around the house like a maniac, letting the dogs out, making their food, curling my hair, ya know the important stuff. I made some peanut butter toast, Adam threw our hospital bags in the car and we were off.

I remember on the drive to the hospital thinking holy cow, our lives are about to change in the biggest way possible and could Adam drive a little faster. I could barely eat my toast but my best friend Lyndsey told me I have to eat before the hospital because then you can't eat anymore. I forced down two pieces of toast as we pulled into the hospital.

7:30 am: We were at the hospital and I was getting hooked up to monitors. After some brief monitoring and some tests, it was confirmed, my water broke! It kind of amazed me how casual this whole process was. I mean, hello, I'm pretty sure I'm in labor, why weren't people freaking out? I sure was.

At 9am, they moved us over to a labor and delivery room and I got hooked up again. Do you know how bad it hurts to have this IV put in? It goes in the top of your wrist and damn, it hurts like hell! Then they checked me. I was 2cm dilated {pause} 2 centimeters. This meant I hadn't dilated in over 2 weeks. I had been walking and eating dates like it was my job and hadn't dilated any. My doc came in and said, "Honey, this is gonna be a long day, I bet we don't have a baby until midnight or later." What I heard, "After all your planing, you're going to have her on September 11."

And ya know what? I didn't care one bit. I couldn't care less. I wanted her to be here so badly. All my planning was out the window, we were having our baby and whatever day that happened on would be the best day of our lives. Quinn was making her debut when she wanted and I can already tell this little one is going to be a strong-headed little babe.

We called our parents and they were on the road! Luckily, my brother was in town for work so he took an Uber to the hospital and was able to be there for the entire day and night!

At noon, they hooked me up to Pitocin to get me moving. Friends was on the TV, we were all chatting about the normal stuff and for a minute I kind of forget about the labor part. By 1:30pm my contractions were 4 minutes apart but I was still only 3 cm. The pain wasn't horrible at this point, just kind of felt like intense period cramps. The cool part was the monitor I was attached too could tell me when they were ramping up so I could kind of mentally prepare. I figured, if this was labor it was a piece of cake.

How wrong was I.


The day passed so quickly. Unfortunately. I was not progressing as quickly. We watched a lot of day time TV, chatted, I napped. It was such a cool and surreal day. I just kept trying to soak in every moment. Honestly, when I look back sometimes I wish I could do the day again. The feeling of knowing our lives were about to change was such an insane feeling, one I will never forget.

By mid-afternoon the pain was getting worse but I was still not dilating quickly. I sat on a bouncy ball, laid with my legs on a ball, Adam massaged my back and I was trying to be tough but man, labor hurts! Adams parents arrived around 4pm, it was so nice to have them there, especially his mama. She's a nurse and made me feel so much better about how I was feeling and what was going on.

630pm and I couldn't take the pain anymore. I called for an epidural. The fun thing about epidurals is that is requires more stuff. Like a catheter and you aren't allowed to walk around anymore (I mean, your legs are numb, but still). But wow, what a life changer. A lot of people asked if it hurt and honestly no. I was in pretty intense pain, as if my back was in a vice, so 5 minutes of getting it put in was totally worth it. Plus, they numb the spot first and I could barely feel it. The IV they put in first thing in the AM hurt worse. After the meds were in I took the best nap of my life as the lower half of my body warmed and numbed.

8pm: 4cm dilated. The doc was right, this baby was not coming today.

1145pm: 6 cm dilated. So starving. I get why they don't let you eat all day, but sheesh. I had about 4 jello's and 6 popsicles. All I wanted was a burger!

1230am: My parents arrived! Hooray! At this point, Adam's parents had gone to the hotel to get some zzz's, my brother was asleep on the couch and we were all very sleepy.

3am on September 11: I was 9 cm dilated! I've never been so excited in my life. She was coming soon!

I kicked everyone out of the room at this point except Adam and the moms. Sorry dads and brother!

4am: My contractions were brutal. I was in the worse pain ever and called for the anesthesiologist. When they give you your epidural, they give you a boost button to allow you to give yourself more pain meds. The boosts weren't working. The anesthesiologist came in and said, "honey I'm gonna make your legs go numb for 3 hours." He gave me more meds and I took another 30 minute nap. God bless my anesthesiologist.

630am: I was 10cm and my contractions were like every 2 minutes. My nurse suggested since I had been in active labor for so long that I should rest an hour before pushing. Thankfully my mother in law was there and shaking her head "no" and that I should just get to pushing. Honestly, I think if I would have rested, I would have lost all my adrenaline. I said let's get to pushing and we were off.

When I was planning labor, I envisioned me and Adam in this blissful room listening to music as I labored and brought Quinn into the world. I didn't want anyone else in the room.

How did labor actually happened? I asked my mom and mother-in-law to stay to help hold my legs while Adam stood near my head to coach and get me through. I thought I would be too embarrassed, but the nurses said having people hold my legs would help get her out faster and at that point, whatever or whoever could help get this baby out was welcomed to stay. I'm so glad they stayed.

It's weird because in that moment  my feelings were pain, anticipation and excitement. That feeling of embarrassment was the last emotion I ever felt. I was no longer concerned with people seeing me or what was happening down there. We were all so focused on Quinn coming in to the world that all the other details kind of disappeared.

I won't get into the gory details of pushing, but I pushed for 10 seconds, 3 times in a row, with 10 seconds off and then I'd go again. 10 seconds has never felt longer in my life. Not going to lie, pushing is hard work. 40 minutes later, Quinn was here!

As you all know, we kept Quinn's name a secret our entire pregnancy and we didn't even tell our docs when we got to the hospital. So as soon as she came out, the doctor asked her name and we both said Quinn. It was so cool to surprise our moms with Quinn's name as she was born. It was well worth the wait.

7:09am: Quinn arrived and it was the most perfect moment of my life. Adam cut the cord, they handed her to me on my chest and I looked up at Adam and just started bawling.

There is nothing as amazing as seeing your baby for the first time. 24 hours of labor has nothing on the pure joy it is to finally hold your baby. I'd do it 100x again.

Let's get to the pictures.





Thank you all for all your love and support over the last 2 months. It's crazy to believe 2 months has already passed since this incredible day. We're so in love with miss Q and can't wait to watch her grow.

I promise I'll be back to some more full time blogging soon :)

Last month I did some instagram questions and one of you asked me a question I've been meaning to answer here. Will baby girl be on social media? The easy, quick answer is no.

Before we delve into the major details of that statement, let me preface with, I know this is probably an unpopular opinion (very unpopular). I know most people will think I'm being a little crazy/over-cautious/nuts. But, it's a decision Adam and I have made together and it's one we're comfortable with. 

Also, this post is not meant to be derogatory to anyone who posts their kids on social media, so please don't take it that way. Heck, all my friends and family post their kids on social and I LOVE it. I love seeing my feed littered with adorable babies doing the cutest things. So please, keep posting!

I didn't think I was going to talk about this because I figured who would care. But, since I share everything on social, I figured you would all wonder why I'm not sharing baby girl on social. I'm a little anxious to talk about this because honestly, I get it, I'm in the minority. I know a lot of you will think I'm being nuts or judgmental or irrational. 

But at the end of the day, I'm just trying to figure out what is best for me and my family and it really has nothing to do with anyone else or what anyone else chooses to do with their family.


I get it, our thoughts on this are the way extreme and aren't for everyone. And isn't that the coolest thing about motherhood and parenting and being part of a community where we can talk about these things?  

Social media + baby is a conversation Adam and I had before we got pregnant and our general consensus was we didn't want our kids on social media. Honestly. there wasn't a whole lot of thought past that point. For those of you who don't know, Adam isn't on social media anywhere. Sure, he has a Facebook, but I think his profile picture is one of us from literally 6 years ago. He doesn't love social and felt strongly about not having our kid on it. Hell, he doesn't love his appearance on Everyday Grace as much as he is. If it we up to him, social media wouldn't really exist.

I'm torn on this. I love social media. I'm on it all the time. I share on it, all the time. I love the community I've built and the friends I've made. Because of this, part of me wants to show off this darling little baby everywhere and at every chance I get. But then the mom, blogger and public defender in me gets very nervous about splashing her sweet little face everywhere. I have a public blog, public Instagram and there are a lot of followers I don't know. That makes me nervous.

Maybe if I didn't have this space and it was private to only people I know, I'd feel different.

Another thing I've thought about, we've yet to experience an adult generation who's entire life has been played out for the masses online. I didn't grow up knowing how to pose for Insta-stories or having my face on every social media platform available. Heck, if I want a baby picture, I have to call my mom, ask her to scan it or take a picture of it and then she sends me back a grainy version of six year old Kristen. How will this generation feel when they're 30 and there are naked baby pictures of them all over the web? Honestly, we don't know yet.

To be as transparent as possible, I'm not sure how I feel and since I'm not 100% either way, keeping her off social seems like the right thing for our family now. I share a lot of my life on social, the good, the bad and the ugly, but for now I'll be keeping baby girl private.

I went to college with a girlfriend who has chosen not to post her son or daughter on social and I absolutely love her stance on why. My favorite line from her thoughts are this;

All in all, one of the greatest benefits we’ve experienced from opting out of sharing photos of Jack online has been the freedom to enjoy his childhood without the pressure to curate it for public consumption.

One thing I do know, I don't want to make this decision for her. I just want her to be a kid.

Am I being overly cautious? Probably. Am I being paranoid? Maybe a little. Do you guys think I'm nuts? I'm sure you do. But if there is one thing I've learned throughout this pregnancy, it is that Adam and I have to make decisions we feel good about. And, if at the end of the day, him and I feel like we're doing the right thing for our family, then that is what we have to do.

So for all of you asking, "how will I see her?" Text me, call me, DM me, lets FaceTime! I'd love to share pictures and videos of her with you if you want to see her! Better yet, come visit :)

Now, tell me your thoughts. What do you think about kids on social media? Am I the extreme? Probably. What's the happy medium? Talk to me.

Want to read some other moms thoughts?

The Effortless Chic || Design for Mankind ||  The Fresh Exchange || Ave Styles || Apartment 34

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