I’ve been struggling. That’s a hard sentence to muster up the courage and come out and say. I’m struggling. The past couple weeks have been really hard, and they’re definitely starting to push my strengths to the extreme and test my weaknesses. It’s been a test of my faith. Carly subtly told me a great quote the other day, “faith is not faith unless its all you have to hold on too.” The best thing about Carly is that she knows how to be there without being pushy and even though she probably doesn’t understand the weight of that sentence, it was exactly what I needed to hear at exactly the right time. I’m struggling, but I’m re-learning to have faith. Yes, I have faith, but sometimes it takes shitty things to really learn what faith means, to learn what it takes. But isn’t that what faith is about? Questioning it when you don’t understand, believing in it when it’s all you have and never letting go because what would life be without it? So I’m going to struggle, and I’m going to lean on those around me and I’m going to have faith. Questioning, believing and holding on, but faith in its most basic form, because if I don’t have that, what do I have?
I’ve been struggling. That’s a hard sentence to muster up the courage and come out and say. I’m struggling. The past couple weeks have been really hard, and they’re definitely starting to push my strengths to the extreme and test my weaknesses. It’s been a test of my faith. Carly subtly told me a great quote the other day, “faith is not faith unless its all you have to hold on too.” The best thing about Carly is that she knows how to be there without being pushy and even though she probably doesn’t understand the weight of that sentence, it was exactly what I needed to hear at exactly the right time. I’m struggling, but I’m re-learning to have faith. Yes, I have faith, but sometimes it takes shitty things to really learn what faith means, to learn what it takes. But isn’t that what faith is about? Questioning it when you don’t understand, believing in it when it’s all you have and never letting go because what would life be without it? So I’m going to struggle, and I’m going to lean on those around me and I’m going to have faith. Questioning, believing and holding on, but faith in its most basic form, because if I don’t have that, what do I have?
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If there was no doubt, there would be no need for faith. If there was no fear, no need for courage. The irony of this is that people run away from the fear, or slink away from with the doubt, when in fact those are the catalysts to give us the strength and courage. The architect (divine one) has a strange sense of humor. Keep writing!~ JD M
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