- I'm super loyal to my TV shows.
- I LOVE music, new music, old music, mashups... I love it all.
- I love American Idol (see #1).
I will not let myself cause my heart so much misery.
I’ve learned the hard way to never let it get that far.
Because of you -I find it hard to trust not only me, but everyone around me
Because of you - I am afraid
I cannot cry - Because I know that’s weakness in your eyes
My heart can’t possibly break when it wasn’t even whole to start with.
You should have known better than to lean on me - You never thought of anyone else
And now I cry in the middle of the night for the same damn thing
Because of you I don’t know how to let anyone else in
Because of you I am confused. Make it okay.
Life is but life, and death is but death. Bliss is, but bliss and breath but breath. And if, indeed I fail, at least to know the worst is sweet. Defeat means nothing but defeat, no drearier, can prevail. -Emily Dickinson
Its been forever, but have no fear, I’m back :)
So, the past week has been one of quite a few up and downs. We got back from our fabulous roommate road trip in Arizona and this great bonding experience only to jump into a pretty tough week. my beautiful roommate had a tough week with a mean boy and it just sucks because she deserves the best yet every boy is failing. i feel like at this age we’re looking for someone that compliments us and it’s so hard because most guys are not ready. we’re ready for this great romance and guys are still learning how to tie their shoes.
and i don’t know - this could break my heart or save me. nothing’s real, until you let go completely.
so here I go with all my thoughts I’ve been saving - so here I go with all my fears weighing on me.
Three months and I’m still sober - Picked all my weeds but kept the flowers, But I know it’s never really over.
we just have to be patient. we have to learn to listen. we have to learn how to be ourselves. we have to stop hiding ourselves - stop limiting ourselves to the expectations of everyone else. People (boys) are going to like me or hate me regardless of what I do or say. I think remembering that, is what gets us through the day-to-day.
I think that one thing we (myself included) need to work on, is not letting guys control our every mood. If our relationship is good, then we’re happy, if it’s bad, we’re sad. Their actions control our mood - and it’s sad because we allow them to control us. We allow them to determine how we feel and how we think about things. We need to learn to stand on our feet and be ourselves without the boys in our lives influencing us.
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