This whole post is full of SPOILER ALERTS - beware. 

Final night of The Bachelor! Here we go ladies and gents (I'm pretty sure the gents aren't reading these posts)! I'm throwing it back to the original Bachelor post idea. Here are my 20 Thoughts I had while watching the (season finale) of The Bachelor and After the Final Rose. Yes. Ps. I wrote this as I was watching, so the first thought might be outdated by the last, bear with me. Lets do this.

1. Chris, why are you stumbling when talking about why you like Becca? Oh, cuz you don't know why you like her either. Neither do I. 
2. Whitney, your dress is super short but I like it. 
3. Dear Becca, you are a bore. Why is your forehead so tight? Ps. Your blue eyes are gorg. Love you, mean it. 
4. Ps. I was expecting more flannel. 
5. Gary is the man. (Ps. thats Chris' dad). Gary calling Becca, risky man. 
6. Chris, how many times does Becca have to tell you that she is not ready to move to Arlington? Or that she's not in love? Or that she's not ready? COME ON. <cue the slug of wine> 
7. I'm team Whitney. Especially after her day in Arlington. 
8. Chris, I see your smirk. I'm not sure if you're authentic. 
9. I'm pretty sure I registered for those lanterns at Pottery Barn. 
10. Did ABC or Bachelor not have enough money to heat the barn? Seeing Chris' breath at a rose ceremony is so not romantic. 
11. Becca goes home and we still have 15 minutes left, I feel like something is going to happen. 
12. Becca, where are your emotions? Girls went home day 2 and cried harder. I'm confused. 
13. Thank god he proposed. Chris Harrison was making me think it might not happen. 
14. That damn dolphin giggle. 
15. Becca, you looked great on After the Final Rose. 
16. Whitney taking the higher road in not watching the show and then Chris Harrison bringing up everything she missed
17. Oh man, Chris' parents, they are adorable. 
18. I don't understand the fascination with Jimmy Kimmel. What am I missing? 
19. Britt & Kaitlyn?! The men decide who's wife material?? This is crazy.
20. Team Kaitlyn. 

• Wait, Jillian and Britt were best friends in the house? 
• Britt thanked the audience when she was crying. She thanked them. Oh, and did she make it clear enough that she does in fact like kids and wants kids eventually. 
• Britt shouldn't move to Iowa, she needs to stay an actress, her crying is on point. 
• If anyone missed last night, Kelsey is still nuts. And I'm pretty sure she was reading a script. But hey, the gold accessories and the green wrap dress was pretty on point. 
• Did any of the girls actually like Kelsey? Usually there is one girl who always stands up for the underdog, but nope, not this time. 
• Carly filled in her eyebrows. 
• Ashley has to be screwing with us, but her Louboutins are incredible. Oh, and when does Bachelor in Paradise start? 
• Jade is sweet and vulnerable and stuff but did anyone actually pick her as the winner? We all knew Chris wasn't comfortable with nudes in Iowa. 
• Kaitlyn's white crop top outfit is the best. Reason #1 she should be the next Bachelorette. 
• Watching Katilyn watch herself go home was heartbreaking. But hey, Kaitlyn, keep rocking that side bun that you had in Bali. Reason #2 for Bachelorette
• Did everyone see Britt cry when Chris walked out? DID YOU SEE IT?! Actress in training. 
• Britt goes up to sit with Chris, Katilyn does not... Reason #3. 
• Chris Harrison's shameless book plug. I have no words. Too much. Reason #4 (?). 

So, I wrote this post before Chris kicked off the unfortunate soul... (more on that later). So spoiler alert: thank goodness Whitney wasn't kicked off last night or else this post would have really sucked.

PS. I don't read Reality Steve or any of those other spoiler alert websites, so if you know who wins, please don't tell! I don't know who wins, this is just my best educated-I've been watching the show for 15 years-guess.

Here are 10 reasons why I think, Whitney is going to win the Bachelor.

1. Kaitlyn's arm tats. What are those? I mean, I'm all for freedom of expression, but those just aren't good. 
2. Katilyn's "beachy" hair. I'm not one to judge on frizzy hair, but it sucks for her that it was so humid in Bali. Not her best look. 
3. Whitney's perfect pink lipstick while cruising on the yacht. I mean, could it have been any more subtle or perfect for her skin tone. 
4. Whitney want's to be a mom and a wife and is 100% willing to give up her job as a fertility nurse to move to Arlington. 
5. Becca is a virgin and always has this expression on her face. 
   
6. The amount of sweat on Chris' forehead when he's with Whitney verses anyone else. 
7. Chris Harrison's blue eyes and blue linen shirt during his talk with Chris regarding Becca. I'm not sure what this has to do with Whitney winning, but I mean, did anyone else notice the matching blue? 
8. Whitney's green earrings at the rose ceremony. Again not sure what they have to do with her winning, but they were gorgeous on her. 
   
9. The amount of fillers/botox Becca has that makes it hard for her to show any emotion. 
10. The fact that Kailtyn would be an adorable/hilarious Bachelorette. I'm voting for her to be the next. 

Okay, woah. I love the Bachelor, but 5 hours of bachelor-goodness in 2 days is a lot to handle. This is gonna be a long one, we're doing 5 hours in one post. Feel free to get a strong cup of coffee before you start this post, you're going to need it!

Let's start with Chris' tell all. I can't lie, but I found it mostly boring. I think the Kelsey interview actually hurt her more than helped her. Honey, time to tuck your tail between your legs, apologize for being condescending and let's move on. Second, the Andi interview was heartbreaking. Being a forever fan of the Bachelor, I honestly thought they'd make it. It was so sad seeing her cry when talking about Josh. I'll be the one to hold out hope of them reconciling.

Now, to Chris' hometown. I found it hilar that the girls went to Des Moines pre-Arlington. I've been to Des Moines...  And either Chris made them go to Des Moines first to prep them for small-town Arlington or Arlington doesn't have any hotels. I'm guessing both. I feel sad for Chris that he feels ashamed of his home town, it's even worse that Britt keeps lying to him about it. Now to quotes about Arlington, "Where hills and prairie's meet."

"There is not an open bar in Arlington." Woah.
"There are no restaurants or coffee shops in Arlington. There are no small movie theaters."
"Liquor, Pizza, Chicken and Frozen Yogurt to go"
"A slow drive around Arlington takes 3 seconds."


Group Date Time! I have to be honest, I love this part of the show because I know all the girls names and I feel like I know the girls about as much as Chris does. Here's my thoughts on the three group date girls.

• Oh Britt. Let's be real, you're never going to move to Arlington, so stop crying. Next. P.S. I love your crop tops. 
• I think Carly is hilarious, but I definitely think she tries wayyy too hard. And, haven't we all learned that the girls that talk shit about the other girls, always go home? Especially when you talk about the only one he really likes (Britt). 
• Kaitlyn. I have to be honest, I didn't like you at the beginning. I thought you were vulgar and a little nuts. I now think you're actually one of the honest and nice ones. I don't think you'll win, but I like you, you're gonna be close. 

We're finally at that point in the Bachelor where I know (most) of the girls names and their stories. We know that Kelsey is a widow, Ashley is a virgin, Britt doesn't wash her hair and Carly has horrible eyebrows. But we're also at that part in every Bachelor season where the crazies make their appearance. And the crazies definitley came out last night on the Bachelor. Every season there are always a couple that act a little nuts. People say it's the "pressure" of being on TV, the late nights, but I'm pretty sure it's the copious amounts of wine that's consumed that turns these average ladies into nuts. Remember Lucy from Juan Pablos season? Yes, the girl that was always naked. Or, Courtney, the ultimate bachelor villain? Every season has had its crazies, but I'm pretty sure Kelsey takes the cake. Some classic Kelsey quotes from last nights episode.

I use big words... I'm a smart girl.
I came here to win it.
I would hate for you to let go of all the potential between us, because of girl talk.
I'm 28 years old, I was married, I lost the love of my life, I am a woman and I'm going to remember that she thinks she's playing a game, but I'm not.
My story is amazing, and its tragic and its inspiring and its beautiful. I am immeasurably blessed. 

Spoiler Alert: Unfortunately Kelsey had to leave us this week, but not before Carly jumped on the couch and poured champs for all the surviving ladies. Maybe celebrating someones departure isn't ladylike, but at least Kelsey didn't "win."

Are you getting sick of these yet? No? Good because Bachelor Mondays are my fav! At this point, we're getting to 'know' the girls pretty well right? Since we know that Britt doesn't shower, Carly's eyebrows are over-plucked and Ashley I cries a lot, I figure it's time to get to know our Bachelor. Here are 9 questions I wish I could ask Chris Soules and for fun, some classic quotes I just couldn't resist. Oh, and a picture to catch all of you up on the losers, aka the girls that got kicked off.

One of the best parts about the Bachelor are all the hilarious and stupid things the girls say and this season is no exception. Not only is Chris full of quotes and perfectly posed stares but the girls are equally full of crap. Here are my favorite 6 quotes from The Bachelor, Episode 4.

1. If you're the bachelor, famous people are forced to hang out with you or be a guest on the show. So, if you want to meet famous people, become the next bachelor or bachelorette. 
2. If you can shop at Costco and be a fun girl on a "real life" date with cameras, producers and someone else's money, you will get a rose. 
3. Goat milk straight off the teet is warm and salty. Ew.
4. Accessories are a must at a bachelor pool party. If you don't have a headband, sarong, false lashes, high heels or a super sad story, you lose. 
5. Kissing = confidence? Apparently not for everyone, see Ashley I for reference. 

SPOLIER ALERT: The girls who didn't play it right and got eliminated are: Tracey, Amber and Trina. Better luck next time ladies.16 down, 14 to go! Let's do this.

Another week, another episode of the Bachelor. This week did not disappoint. Same story, different girls getting drunk, crying and making out with Chris. Without further ado, my 13 thoughts while watching the bachelor.

1. Chris, a half zipped hoodie with no shirt under it? You don't really wear things like that do you? 
2. Decision of the day: coffee or mimosa for your first morning in the bachelor house? 
3. Outdoor shower? In a house down the driveway? You are asking for drama Chris Harrison. 
4. Poor Kimberly. Wait. This is unfair and unjust. How dare Chris add one more girl to a group of 20? Boo Kimberly. 
5. On a scale of 1-drunk, how drunk is Tara going to be this episode. 
6. Those lashes are not real. I'm looking at you Ashley I. 
7. Mackenzie, zzzzzzzzz. 
8. She thought the date card was just a note? Seriously. Next. 
9. I suggest not giving Ashley S. a gun ever, even if it's just a paintball gun. 
10. Jordan. Weed waker? You can never talk about that in reference to a girl or her hair...down there.
11. Ashley S. What are you doing? No. Stop talking about Mesa verde? Chris. Make it stop. 
12. Chris likes to kiss. A lot. 
13. Okay, the fall is one thing, but the embarrassed laugh was the best part of that rose ceremony. Jillian, you win girl of the night. 
14. Britt, I'm still rooting for you. 

The Bachelor is probably one of my most favorite guilty pleasures. I've watched almost every season, but Alex Michel, first season anyone? Does anyone know him? Yeah that's what I thought. But seriously, the Bachelor is so addicting, I love it. #bachelornation.

Tonight was the season premier of Season 19, Chris Soules' season, which is probably one of the most anticipated season ever. Girls are fawning over him, guys are jealous of him and I'm pretty sure Chris Harrison wants to be him. But what do you think about the Bachelor? Do you like Chris? Do you wish you were one of the lucky 30? Well here are 12 Thoughts I had while watching the Bachelor.

1. Was there really a red carpet this season? Is Nikki still really talking about Juan Pablo? 
2. Did Tara really wear shorts and cowboy boots? I get cowboy boots are "you" but honey, you're in Malibu at a cocktail party, dress up for once. You're an adult. 
3. Jillian. Crossfit. Protein shakes. Dead lift. 
4. Swearing and sex jokes for your first impression? Yikes. And elbow tats. Rad! Get that rose! 
5. Chris Harrison slapping Chris Soules, adorbs. 
6. Go Reagan, the cadaver sales woman, we went to college together, I can root for her. 
7. Googly Eyes, I mean Amanda, I mean the secret admirer is a bit too much for me. Great hair though Amanda, cheers. 
8. Brittany. What are you wearing? Get it together. Oh wait, you're a wrestler? Ohhhhh I get it. 
9. The girl with the onion. Really Producers? Where do you find these girls?! 
10. First kiss on the first night?! Woah, Chris, get it. Britt, you're pretty, I'm rooting for you.
11. Tara, you're hilarious, thanks for making the rose ceremony so funny and thanks for not passing out. And congrats on getting picked, we're as shocked as you are! I vote you the girl of the night!
12. Is it just me, or was the preview for the rest of the season the best part. I just love this show. See ya'll next week.