Life is but life, and death is but death. Bliss is, but bliss and breath but breath. And if, indeed I fail, at least to know the worst is sweet. Defeat means nothing but defeat, no drearier, can prevail. -Emily Dickinson

Chicago River - so rad.

“Hope you have a super-duper, happy, fun, calm, satisfying, sunshine-filled Monday!!!"

thanks mom - i hope all of you do too.

Today was a big day for me. Not big like wedding day or anything like that, but big in a sense that it is going to define my future. About fifteen minutes ago I got off the phone with Kaplan, the LSAT program that’s going to help me get the best and highest LSAT score I can. I signed up. I’m going to Boston for 6 weeks this summer. This is step one in my journey towards being basically the best lawyer ever. Even though it was just a phone call, it was a call that legitimately is going to change my life for the better. So, one call here, 6 weeks there, then lawyer. Pretty damn cool if you ask me.

The desire of knowledge, like the thirst for riches, increases ever with the acquisition of it."
- Laurence Sterne

So, here we go. This is the big time baby.

What I am.

“In order to be irreplaceable one must always be different."

Coco Chanel

Clarity is the best feeling. I’ve realized that just because you care for someone doesn’t mean you need to be with them. I’ve realized that just because someone loves you doean’t mean you have to love them back. It’s okay to listen to your heart and not to what everyone else is saying.

I’ve realized that sometimes you’re just a little too late.

I can tell how much you hate this deep down inside. You know it’s killing me I can call, wish you well and try to change this. But nothing i can say would change anything. Where were my senses? I left them all behind. Why did I turn away?

I wish I could save you. I wish I could say to you I’m not going nowhere. I wish I could say to you it’s gonna be alright.

Reaching out, reach for me empty handed. You don’t know if I care you’re trying to find the proof. There were times I’d wonder could I have eased your pain. Why did I turn away?

We can pretend nothings changed and pretends its all the same.

You didn’t come back fast enough. You didn’t feel bad enough. You didn’t prove yourself enough. You were the thing I hoped for and you didn’t meet my expectations. I waited for you to say those things for five months. I dreamt of those words. We wanted it. We have the memories. We have the smiles, we have the heart. That isn’t enough. That can’t be enough. It’s just a little too late - a little too wrong. It was too much chance and not enough heart. But I love you. And for now, that’s all I have to give to you, but I have to run.

Remember all the things we wanted. Now all our memories, they’re haunted. We were always meant to say goodbye. Even without fists held high, it never would have worked out right, we were never meant for do or die. I didn’t want us to burn out and I didn’t come here to hurt you now, but I can’t stop.

I want you to know that it doesn't matter where we take this road. Someone’s gotta go and I want you to know you couldn’t have loved me better. But I want you to move on - so I’m already gone.

Looking at you makes its harder, but I know that you’ll find another. That doesn’t always make you wanna cry. It started with a perfect kiss then we could feel the poison set in. Perfect couldn’t keep this love alive.

You know that i love you so I love you enough to let you go. I have to let go.

“You will never do anything in this world without courage. It is the greatest quality of the mind next to honor."

James Allen

Everyone says things happen for a reason. They say it all works out in the end. But what if it doesn’t? What if there is no end? I feel like I’m trying to find the reason for things and I’m desperately searching for the end so that it will all work out. I need a reason. I need the end to come because I need the sanity that comes with that. What I really want is someone to tell me exactly what to do and what to feel. I need someone to tell me that it’s gonna work out and that the chance is worth taking and that the benefits are worth the risk.

I need to know that no ones going to get hurt. I need to know that my decisions are going to ruin things.

Have you ever been so lost
Known the way and still so lost

Is there a light?

At the end of the road
I’m pushing everyone away
‘Cause I can’t feel this anymore

I’m sick of the unknown. I’m just ready. Ready to know the right path, ready to know the future, ready to know what’s right and what’s wrong. Why can’t it all be easy? Why can’t it be black and white - with no grey spots? Where’s the light at the end of the tunnel and why haven’t I found it yet?

I’m used to opening my own doors and splitting the checks
He introduced me, was always just a friend
I bought a new dress, he never noticed
Always falling for these bad boys, such a challenge
I’m getting tired, of cleaning up after them
I think I’m ready to be a woman

Oh love, I think I’m ready
Ready for it
You were such a surprise
An unexpected gift
Said I was pretty, and I believed it
Not really used to all this attention
Told myself I don’t deserve you
And this is just a phase
Could I get used to, being loved the right way?
I wanna argue, but there is nothing to say

I know I need to listen to my heart. Stop listening to everyone else. Stop worrying about everyone else. I need to worry about myself, but until I can do that… I’m stuck. I’m stuck listening to my broken heart and my worn-down head. I’m listening to everyone else and worrying too much. Sooner or later I’ll worry about myself.

Sooner or later, I’ll figure it out.

The Untold Story of the World's Biggest Diamond Heist

One of the coolest stories I’ve ever read.

A real life Ocean’s Eleven meets Italian Job.