Sooner or later.

March 14, 2009

Everyone says things happen for a reason. They say it all works out in the end. But what if it doesn’t? What if there is no end? I feel like I’m trying to find the reason for things and I’m desperately searching for the end so that it will all work out. I need a reason. I need the end to come because I need the sanity that comes with that. What I really want is someone to tell me exactly what to do and what to feel. I need someone to tell me that it’s gonna work out and that the chance is worth taking and that the benefits are worth the risk.

I need to know that no ones going to get hurt. I need to know that my decisions are going to ruin things.

Have you ever been so lost
Known the way and still so lost

Is there a light?

At the end of the road
I’m pushing everyone away
‘Cause I can’t feel this anymore

I’m sick of the unknown. I’m just ready. Ready to know the right path, ready to know the future, ready to know what’s right and what’s wrong. Why can’t it all be easy? Why can’t it be black and white - with no grey spots? Where’s the light at the end of the tunnel and why haven’t I found it yet?

I’m used to opening my own doors and splitting the checks
He introduced me, was always just a friend
I bought a new dress, he never noticed
Always falling for these bad boys, such a challenge
I’m getting tired, of cleaning up after them
I think I’m ready to be a woman

Oh love, I think I’m ready
Ready for it
You were such a surprise
An unexpected gift
Said I was pretty, and I believed it
Not really used to all this attention
Told myself I don’t deserve you
And this is just a phase
Could I get used to, being loved the right way?
I wanna argue, but there is nothing to say

I know I need to listen to my heart. Stop listening to everyone else. Stop worrying about everyone else. I need to worry about myself, but until I can do that… I’m stuck. I’m stuck listening to my broken heart and my worn-down head. I’m listening to everyone else and worrying too much. Sooner or later I’ll worry about myself.

Sooner or later, I’ll figure it out.

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I love hearing from all of you and greatly appreciate all your feedback and comments! xx Kristen