always in a rush.

May 7, 2009

Today, I moved home. Today is the first day of being back in my parents house. Today is the first day, where I no longer call Southern California home. Today is the day where it all starts. Looking back at when I first started blogging, I had this brilliant idea in mind. This blog would get me through senior year, it would help me move past the apprehension that was my senior year and allow me to break through on the other side, 'older and wiser.' While I may be older, the wiser aspect is something to be debated. At the beginning of my senior year, I was petrified. Thoughts of self-doubt and anxiety ran through my head faster than I could gather and this idea that I wasn't going to be good enough was weighing heavily on me. But, after five months, fights, struggles and heartbreaks, I ventured back to Malibu stronger than ever. Here I am again, ready to embark on a adventure that now, looks like something I'll never be able to handle. But I will.
"God will never give you anything you can't handle. He hands you the situation and then asks you to use Him to get through it. So we always get through it."

So, I have hope, because after going through senior year, after going through four years of college, I made it. It gives me hope that the fear I feel now is only going to make for a happier ending.

I'm a huge fan of other peoples blogs. I can't tell you how often I sit and scan through thousands of websites in hopes of something inspirational. I just think it's incredible how people who, some I know and some I don't can write words that completely captivate me. They put me in this trance that I can seem to shake. Today I got introduced to Kara Dioguardi (thankkks Kate!) and again I was enthralled. With Kara her lyrics are her way of inspiring and it's just as rewarding.
It's like I'm at the end of my emotions, watching the shadows burn in the dark and I'm in love and I'm terrified for the first time. I only said it because I mean it. I only mean it because it's true. So don't you doubt hat I've been dreaming because it leads me up, holds me close - whenever I'm without you. I can be all that you need if you let me try.
So, mean only what you say. Don't doubt your dreams. Be terrified. Never allow yourself to become mediocre. Be extraordinary. Inspire.

What if these strangers....what if they're angels.

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I love hearing from all of you and greatly appreciate all your feedback and comments! xx Kristen