What January Taught Me

February 3, 2020

It's the first Monday of February! After the longest month, we made it.

January was a weird month for me. There were a lot of amazing ups and some heavy lows. It felt like it was 89382 days long and some days felt like it would never end. But after 31 long January days, we made it, and honestly this was a huge month of growth for me. It was growth I didn't quite know I needed.

I guess the best part about January being 5 months long is that it gave me plenty of time for thinking, praying and extra time with my family.

Here's what January taught me: 

God answers prayers. I always "knew" that and believed in it, but this month I really saw it in action, in a very tangible way. I literally saw God answer a prayer within 3 days and it was pure magic. It reminded me that we don't always know why things happen but if we are diligent and trusting, God's plan is so great.

Have tough conversations. You've heard me say this 100x, but I hate confrontation. Most of the time I can just get over things that bug me and move forward. But this month, I had a talk with a gf of mine and it gave us a breakthrough we've probably needed for the last 15 years. I think it was therapeutic for both of us. And in time, it's made us even closer, and allowed us to talk better.

Laugh really hard. It's easy to go through a work day and never really laugh. Sure Quinn makes me laugh and Adam and I joke, but I mean like watch Ellen scare people on her show and die laughing. Watch Ali Wong standup. Watch old SNL videos and really freaking laugh. It's the best feeling.

The teeny details are really the big ones. The "I'm proud of yous", the smiles, the text messages. Those are the things that can mean more than the big grand gestures. Don't get me wrong I love a grand gesture, but Im learning to show the little things more.

Always order dessert. Even if your version of dessert is coffee, or sorbet, or fruit. There's something about the waiters clearing the plates and continuing the conversation over something other than your steak. And, there's always room for ice cream.

Talk to your friends. I'm still working on this one. But I'm learning that while I know my friends, sometimes I avoid the awkward conversations because they are awkward. I want to start actually talking to my friends. I want to know their worries and their struggles and their joys. I want to actually talk to my friends and have real conversations. I'm not 100% how to make this happen, but I'm working on it.

Date your husband. This is something Adam and I have tried to make a priority ever since we had Quinn. It's hard with a baby and jobs, but it's our time to get back to us. Even if it's just going to sit at the bar of our local brewery. It gives us time to talk to each other and not just co-exist. It's honestly the best.

Snuggle your baby. This is hard because honestly sometimes by 7pm (bedtime) I am so ready not to hold someone. I really don't want anyone to touch me. I just want to sit alone. But then the second she goes to bed I feel sad and miss her so incredibly much that I spend the new few hours looking at pictures. So, take the extra time, snuggle your baby, give more kisses, give more hugs, because you never know when she won't let you do that anymore.

It's okay to feel sad. When Kobe died last week, I felt weird about how sad I felt. And then I read something that said, "It's okay to feel the grief of a person you don't know. It show's the immensity of that person on humanity. For one person to have that effect on another is an amazing thing. It’s a measure of a life." WOW. So that day and a few days after, I let myself cry. I let myself grieve his death even though I had never met him.

Celebrate every day not just the big days. Every day we get to be on this earth is a day worth celebrating. Every day we get to wake up next to our spouse and hug our kids is a day we should celebrate. Every day we get to talk to our parents, chat with our friends, grab a coffee, go to work, pet our dogs, is a day we should celebrate. Yep, some days are hard, but we're here.

Long months just mean extra time for reflection - what did you learn this month?

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I love hearing from all of you and greatly appreciate all your feedback and comments! xx Kristen