Why Baby Girl Won't be on Social Media

Friday, August 17, 2018

Last month I did some instagram questions and one of you asked me a question I've been meaning to answer here. Will baby girl be on social media? The easy, quick answer is no.
Before we delve into the major details of that statement, let me preface with, I know this is probably an unpopular opinion (very unpopular). I know most people will think I'm being a little crazy/over-cautious/nuts. But, it's a decision Adam and I have made together and it's one we're comfortable with. 
Also, this post is not meant to be derogatory to anyone who posts their kids on social media, so please don't take it that way. Heck, all my friends and family post their kids on social and I LOVE it. I love seeing my feed littered with adorable babies doing the cutest things. So please, keep posting!
I didn't think I was going to talk about this because I figured who would care. But, since I share everything on social, I figured you would all wonder why I'm not sharing baby girl on social. I'm a little anxious to talk about this because honestly, I get it, I'm in the minority. I know a lot of you will think I'm being nuts or judgmental or irrational. 

But at the end of the day, I'm just trying to figure out what is best for me and my family and it really has nothing to do with anyone else or what anyone else chooses to do with their family.

I get it, our thoughts on this are the way extreme and aren't for everyone. And isn't that the coolest thing about motherhood and parenting and being part of a community where we can talk about these things?  

Social media + baby is a conversation Adam and I had before we got pregnant and our general consensus was we didn't want our kids on social media. Honestly. there wasn't a whole lot of thought past that point. For those of you who don't know, Adam isn't on social media anywhere. Sure, he has a Facebook, but I think his profile picture is one of us from literally 6 years ago. He doesn't love social and felt strongly about not having our kid on it. Hell, he doesn't love his appearance on Everyday Grace as much as he is. If it we up to him, social media wouldn't really exist.

I'm torn on this. I love social media. I'm on it all the time. I share on it, all the time. I love the community I've built and the friends I've made. Because of this, part of me wants to show off this darling little baby everywhere and at every chance I get. But then the mom, blogger and public defender in me gets very nervous about splashing her sweet little face everywhere. I have a public blog, public Instagram and there are a lot of followers I don't know. That makes me nervous.

Maybe if I didn't have this space and it was private to only people I know, I'd feel different.

Another thing I've thought about, we've yet to experience an adult generation who's entire life has been played out for the masses online. I didn't grow up knowing how to pose for Insta-stories or having my face on every social media platform available. Heck, if I want a baby picture, I have to call my mom, ask her to scan it or take a picture of it and then she sends me back a grainy version of six year old Kristen. How will this generation feel when they're 30 and there are naked baby pictures of them all over the web? Honestly, we don't know yet.

To be as transparent as possible, I'm not sure how I feel and since I'm not 100% either way, keeping her off social seems like the right thing for our family now. I share a lot of my life on social, the good, the bad and the ugly, but for now I'll be keeping baby girl private.

I went to college with a girlfriend who has chosen not to post her son or daughter on social and I absolutely love her stance on why. You can read her entire post here, but my favorite line from her post is this;
All in all, one of the greatest benefits we’ve experienced from opting out of sharing photos of Jack online has been the freedom to enjoy his childhood without the pressure to curate it for public consumption.
One thing I do know, I don't want to make this decision for her. I just want her to be a kid.

Am I being overly cautious? Probably. Am I being paranoid? Maybe a little. Do you guys think I'm nuts? I'm sure you do. But if there is one thing I've learned throughout this pregnancy, it is that Adam and I have to make decisions we feel good about. And, if at the end of the day, him and I feel like we're doing the right thing for our family, then that is what we have to do.

So for all of you asking, "how will I see her?" Text me, call me, DM me, lets FaceTime! I'd love to share pictures and videos of her with you if you want to see her! Better yet, come visit :)

Now, tell me your thoughts. What do you think about kids on social media? Am I the extreme? Probably. What's the happy medium? Talk to me.

Want to read some other moms thoughts?

The Effortless Chic || Design for Mankind ||  The Fresh Exchange || Ave Styles || Apartment 34

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7 comments:

  1. I absolutely agree with your views! Let her childhood, she'll have the rest of her life to deal with social media!

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  2. Thank you for sharing, I feel like this is a strange and new conversation that is kind of required now when you have kids. It's hard to make decisions for other people though because you don't know how they will feel about it when they are older but you also are excited and want to share your life. As a blogger I can appreciate the conflict and I also completely respect both sides.

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  3. This is a conversation my husband and I had as well. He's a cop so he initially felt very uncomfortable with it. His Facebook honestly didnt even say we were together let alone married until 4 years into our marriage (just last year). He likes to keep those things private and separate. But after a ton of discussion, we decided to come up with guidelines instead. My blog is built around authenticity and being a mommy blogger without a child just didn't make sense to me. So rather than keeping her off social media completely, we're just smart about what we post. We'd never post our address, her schools, teachers, etc. We'd never tag specific locations like what coffee shop we frequently visit or my jogging route or anything along those lines. And there's zero tolerance for nude or potentially "provacative" photos of her online. So I feel that having that conversation and setting those guidelines with every friend and family member is soooo important. At the end of the day you have to do what you feel most comfortable with.

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  4. I understand exactly where you are coming from. With my first I was posting weekly pictures, but now, not as much. When she does something extra, super cute I have to share, but the majority of the time she's allowed to be a free Bitty. I'm also married to a law enforcement officer who completely eschews social media so he's most comfortable when I don't share anything at all.

    On the flip side, 90% of my family lives far away from me so the only updates/photos that they see is what I share. With Babe #2 coming soon, I'll definitely be more mindful of what I share and who with.

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  5. Ultimately this is totally your decision, and people have to respect that. Mine is all over social media... Sometimes this makes me nervous. I'm really cautious about what I post and where though, nothing that shows too much on public, nothing that tags a location she may be at, etc. It's SUCH a scary world out there.

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  6. I loved reading this! My husband and I had the same conversation, and like you, we want to avoid exposing our child on social media. I feel awkward talking about it or mentioning it to others because it’s definitely the unpopular opinion. I have so many friends that post pics of their kids daily and sometimes multiple times a day. The thought of putting that many photos of my child on the internet just makes me feel uncomfortable. It’s refreshing to hear from someone with similar thoughts on this. Thanks for sharing.

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I love hearing from all of you and greatly appreciate all your feedback and comments! xx Kristen

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