When I first moved to Denver, I was studying for the bar and didn't have a job. Needless to say, the days got pretty long and boring. Adam would walk in the door at 6pm and I would bombard him, so happy to have someone else to talk to besides Henry.
After only a few days of this, I decided to join Pure Barre. I'm sure you've heard about it, since it's sweeping the country. I bet you've also heard rumors that it's "like ballet" or "only for girls." Well, let me tell you something, it is hard work. I've been a loose-definition of the word athlete my whole life. I "run" I "hike" I stay in shape, but this workout kicks my butt. I highly suggest it. The teachers are incredible, sweet, smart and so strong! I've made great girlfriends from it, and at the end of the hour, I've never felt better. Granted there are times when I'm 'tucking,' that I want to scream in pain, but it's well worth the workout.
But with great workouts come great thoughts. I got this great idea after reading a blog, written by a guy, on his first experience with PB. It's hilarious you should read it. My two good friends are also PB enthusiasts and with their help I've come up with 21 thoughts everyone has during one hour of Pure Barre.
- Is being completely uncomfortable and in pain for almost a full hour really worth it? What if I just swapped out food for ice chips for a few days instead?
- Wait, what's going on? I'm lost.
- 10 seconds has never felt so long in my whole life.
- Don't you dare come out of that thigh... The feeling of coming face to face with death is only fleeting.
- Why are there three sets of thighs? Last I checked I only have 2 thighs so where's the rule that there are no more thigh workouts then you have body parts?
- Ah, yes, time to stretch. Oh my gosh, why is the teacher pushing on my back? I thought class was over. Oh my gosh. Oh my gosh. Wait, this feels good.
- Wow, these woman are beautiful. How do they all look so amazing after sweating for an hour? Her body is banging. Did you see her diamond ring?
- It's just not natural for my leg to be raised as high as my hip, and extending straight off my hip... God didn't intend for humans to ever be in that position.
- How do people get their leg so straight? Mine looks like I'm bending it on purpose.
- This resistance band is so strong. Why oh why do we have to use this?
- Who picks which song is played when? I am about to lose it when it’s 12 minutes of straight techno during thighs, and then an amazing song comes on for 30 seconds while we stretch before switching back to techno!
- I didn't know I had muscles there. This is going to hurt like hell tomorrow.
- I just don't think I can go on from the warm-up... that was good enough let's call it a day.
- Seriously, WHERE is the final 10 count? Okay, here it is, now WHY IS IT SO SLOW
- Rock up to seated after the final stretch? More like roll over and try to pull myself off the carpet.
- I'm starving.
- But seriously, I carry a 12 pound purse every day, how can I not hold these 2 pound weights?
- Wow, these are warmups? Wow, these are hard. Wow, I'm ready for wine.
- If these socks are so sticky, why are my feel sliding?
- That was the hardest thing I've ever done, ever. I'm totes coming back tomorrow.