into the rush now.

Today, I'm all about thoughts of the day and what intrigues me now. bring it on.
So I wonder; why am I in such a hurry to grow up? is it because recently everything being talked about regards my future? or because i’m ready to find that special someone, have kids and finally “start my life?” it seems like the world is moving in such a fast pace around us that all we can do, is hold on tight and hope it doesn't throw us off.
lately everyone is rushing into things. rushing into relationships, friendships, life… not taking the time to realize whats there. one day you will stop and the world will carry on. lovers will love, others will shop, laugh and cry - sometimes alone, sometimes together, but the radio will keep playing. and after all that rushing and racing towards the finish line, nothing will matter but the love you gave, the souls you touched and the people you changed. they will carry on for you and pick up where we left, the rushing will stop, but the world wont.
Ok, ya know when you have someone right in front of you, willing to give them self to you, and all you can think is, ‘how fast can i run away?’
Then you have someone that presents themselves at the perfect moment. They don't give too much, or too little… just enough - but not enough to grant the full satisfaction needed. There you are, presented with these two ideals, and all you want is the one who wont give himself to you. The one who hides his feelings because of the situations. The one who puts on a mask to spare you the details. You try to find the words to free him from this imagined obligation but nothing seems to work. He puts up a wall because for some reason he wants it to be there. It stops you because he wants it too and when he’s ready, it’ll fade away and it will reveal the dreams beyond. But until that moment, that ever changing moment, that will ultimately affect both of your lives, you stay still. you are the silence between the two, the white space between the letter, and until the missing is found, you cant be the thing that makes everything else, a something.
If love and beauty were something that were obtained easily then they wouldn't exist. chaos and sadness exist so that we can find the love and beauty in them, so that they mean something. its meant to be hard, but them it makes so much more to look forward too.